C-SPAN is being banned from broadcasting a free-speech event at the request of Justice Antonin Scalia, who is receiving a “Citadel of Free Speech Award” from the City Club of Cleveland today. Hehe.

Thanks to InstaPundit for linking to this glossary of terms related to the war. An excerpt:

Peace: The complete lack of action from the United States no matter how many must suffer or die.
Dissent: Wearing costumes.
Multilateral: Doing what the French want.
Unilateral: Going forward without the support of the New York Times.

From BushOnCrack.com:

Hehehe.

A line from the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast, spoken by the talking candelabra Lumiere, keeps floating through my mind when I think about the French attitude toward Iraq’s disarmament song-and-dance:

They can sing,
They can dance –
After all, Miss,
This is France!

A great satire:

MINAS TIRITH (Gondor News Network) - Thousands of peace activists took to the streets of Minas Tirith and other cities of Middle Earth today to protest what they termed a rush to war with Mordor. …

(Another protester said), “It’s understandable (Mordor’s soldiers) are angry with Gondor. We haven’t done nearly as much for the Orcs and Goblins and Easterlings as the Nazgul and Sauron have. It’s understandable they throw their support to them. It’s our own fault really.”

Seen on a street corner in downtown L.A. this evening:

Hehe.

Watching Dr. Phil on David Letterman’s show just now, I was inspired to visit Letterman’s website, where I discovered this Top Ten list from last Wednesday’s Late Show:

Top Ten Things Saddam Hussein Wants To Get Off His Chest

10. “I don’t have links to Al Qaeda, but the same guy does our taxes”
9. “Of my 24 palaces, 19 are just timeshares”
8. “Kim Jong-Il cheats at Scrabble”
7. “I bought most of my medals on eBay”
6. “You know what I use to liven up leftovers? Anthrax”
5. “Sometimes even I confuse Iran and Iraq”
4. “Is it just me, or does it seem like Michael Jackson is weird?”
3. “Christiane Amanpour — call me”
2. “Try to find a parking space in downtown Baghdad, now that’s torture — am I right, people?”
1. “I can’t prove it, but I think Hans Blix took a leak in my pool”

And again, hahahahaha:

In other news, I saw an anti-war activist on CNN this evening saying that in a potential war with Iraq, he expects the first two days of American bombing to kill ten thousand Iraqi civilians. TEN THOUSAND! Are these people for real?!?! Yeah, America is going to kill ten thousand civilians, just for fun, because that’s how we are. We do that sort of thing all the time. Uh-huh.

(While we’re on the subject, have the people who routinely call America “imperialist” really thought about what that would mean?)

No matter how much my heart is not really in this war, it’s hard to take the antiwar movement seriously when it’s being run by buffoons and closet Stalinists.

Some antiwar protesters are at least funny:

Again, hahahahaha.

But seriously, people, think about this. Here’s an article that perfectly crystallizes my opinion about the present U.N. debate:

In November the Security Council passed Resolution 1441, which demanded that Saddam Hussein comply “immediately” with the 16 preceding resolutions, declared it his “final opportunity” to do so, and promised “serious consequences” if he failed to do so.

The French…are sticking to the position that 1441 doesn’t mean what it says. Presented with ample evidence that Iraq has fallen short of the full compliance the U.N. demanded, Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin made news excuses for delay: “The option of inspections has not been taken to the end.” Never mind that Resolution 1441 plainly and repeatedly states that compliance must be “immediate.”

Did you hear that, antiwar protesters who supported Resolution 1441 because you thought it would bring about peace? Iraq was supposed to comply fully and immediately. It HASN’T. So it’s fine to be antiwar, but if you’re antiwar and you supported Resolution 1441, then you are a hypocrite.

Okay, before I go, here’s one more laugh for y’all, courtesy of InstaPundit. It’s labeled as a photo of “Hans Blix on the job.”

Hahahahaha.

It looks like the axis of evil has a new member.

A few headlines this morning from Fark.com:

“82% of Americans want manned flight to continue. Other 18% wants NASA to stop faking them” (link | discussion)

“Kyrgyzstan votes for president, more vowels” (link | discussion)

“122-year-old Egyptian dies; was sick of hearing about that punk kid Strom” (link | discussion)

“Police hunt piglet-rustlers. Pooh, Tigger offer reward” (link | discussion)

“Nothing irritates people quite as much as ‘nuc-yoo-ler’” (link | discussion)

This, too, is from Fark.com… a picture of the TV screen showing CNN stating that the space shuttle was travelling 18 times the speed of light. Uh, yeah. Good job, guys.

(Discussion)

Actually, I shouldn’t make fun. I briefly made the same mistake in one of my early shuttle-related blog posts, before noticing it and fixing it within a few minutes. But, then again, I’m BrendanLoy.com. They’re CNN.

Speaking of funny stuff, have you seen The Onion’s top story for this week? U.N. Orders Wonka To Submit To Chocolate Factory Inspections? Hee hee.

The Onion also reports:

HOLLYWOOD, CA—The new Jerry Bruckheimer comedy “Kangaroo Jack” has successfully tapped into America’s longstanding love affair with rapping kangaroos, taking in a box-office-best $17.7 million in its opening weekend. … Warner Bros. has already confirmed plans for a sequel, “Koala Bob,” featuring a computer-generated beat-boxing koala who steals $50 million in gold bullion… and he’s not giving it back.

Hehe. I remain convinced that Kangaroo Jack and the current wave of reality-show hits are the best vindication any anti-American bastard could hope for. Not that the anti-American bastards are right, of course — but we’re giving them way too much to work with!

This piece of paper, advertising for a “progressive rock band,” originally said “BASS NEEDED.” Then somebody covered up the “B,” producing a message that’s, um, base. And damn funny. :)

Whatever your opinion on the possible war with Iraq — mine wavers from time to time, but I generally lean against it (although if it actually proves true that the Iraqi government gave chemical weapons to Al Qaeda, that would change everything) — you have to admit, this poster is freakin’ funny:

You’ve got to see the full-size version to fully appreciate it, because of the funny text at the bottom, including “Osama bin Laden as the Phantom Menace.” :) For a full-size view of just the bottom part, click here.

Becky and I awoke this morning to the decidedly unusual sound of a chicken clucking outside Becky’s apartment.

How the chicken ended up in South Central Los Angeles, and whether this is the beginning of a full-fledged invasion of L.A. by radical Islamic fundamentalist chicken terrorists, is hard to say. But it certainly made for some good photo opportunities.

In other fowl news, I bought Becky a turkey dolly on Wednesday at the 32nd Street Pharmacy. Its name is Gobble.

I believe the turkey’s full name is Gobble Cornelius Zak. “Gobble Gobble” was briefly considered, but rejected as too repetitive. My Internet-savvy suggestion of “Gobble Gobble Google” never really got off the ground (so to speak).

From ScrappleFace.com, a funny fake-news blog:

French Resolution Threatens ‘Aggressive Indecision’

France, the acknowledged world leader in diplomacy and military strategy, has once again taken the lead on this issue of historic significance. French diplomats are said to be preparing speeches that last for days and resolutions with circuitous language making them virtually impervious to an up-or-down vote.