Ladies and gentlemen, Trekstor’s latest MP3 player, the i.Beat.Blaxx.

Where’s Al Sharpton when you need him?

(Hat tip: dcl via DaringFireball via Fake Steve Jobs Blog.)

Laughing too hard to make a good joke on this one. Though I suppose it really could have been quite a more serious matter.

“I’m sorry, are you like a demented chicken?” –Becky, to me

“Did you just say you’re boycotting Count Dooku?” –Becky, to me

Things have gone from bad to worse for Michael Vick this week, culminating in a blockbuster civil suit:

Embattled NFL quarterback Michael Vick, facing federal charges related to his alleged participation in dogfighting, has been hit with a “$63,000,000,000 billion dollar” lawsuit filed by a South Carolina inmate who alleges the Atlanta Falcons star stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to buy “missiles from Iran,” FOX News has learned.

Jonathan Lee Riches filed the handwritten complaint over “theft and abuse of my animals” on July 23 in the U.S. District Court in Richmond, Va.

Click here to read the filing against Vick.

Riches alleges that Vick stole two white mixed pit bull dogs from his home in Holiday, Fla., and… goes on to allege that Vick sold the dogs on eBay and “used the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran government.”

The complaint also alleges that Vick would need those missiles because he pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year.

“Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes,” Riches writes in the complaint.

Riches wants $63 billion dollars “backed by gold and silver” delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina. Riches is an inmate at the facility serving out a wire fraud conviction.

I don’t know how many of y’all watch Last Comic Standing, but this is one of my favorite moments from the season so far, and I was very happy to find a YouTube clip of it. The comic is Sabrina Matthews, and although she didn’t make the finals, I loved her joke about suicidal cats… and her quip about her own sexuality:

Funny stuff.

“Barry Bonds setting the home-run record is the equivalent of a car winning the Kentucky Derby.” –Casey

An annual report on President Bush’s health released this week revealed that Bush was treated for Lyme disease last year.

Among potential symptoms of Lyme disease are neurocognative impairment, hallucinations, and psychosis. Hmmm…I wonder…

“I don’t know how to change a tire. Some people consider that a very important skill to have. I consider a AAA card a very important thing to have.” –Becky

Charlie Weis Sues Bacon Double Cheeseburgers For Being So Delicious.

Here’s a rather entertaining video from our visit to Rocky Mountain National Park showing the SHA girls — Becky, Shannon, Kristy and V — running away from the terrifying spectre of… a chipmunk.

Note also my girly giggle.

You might hear Becky saying something about “bubonic plague.” The reason is because, during the drive up, I had been reading aloud from a pamphlet outlining the various dangers campers might face in the park, and one of them was the possibility that various creatures, including chipmunks, might be infected with the plague. The girls took this remote risk a little too much to heart, methinks. :)

BTW, I’m sorry for not getting my full gallery of Denver pics up yet. Maybe later today. They’re online now! :) Of particular interest, the all-important boob picture:

Heh.

I’ve split the gallery up into three sections: the Denver Zoo, our day in the Rockies, and other pics from the trip. Enjoy!

P.S. Aww, ain’t we cute?

Yes, you can buy the song from iTunes. :)

Peter Evans, July 2: “‘Summer terror spectacular’? Is it a musical? Will the terrorists be holding a musical?”

AFP, August 2: “‘Jihad: The Musical,’ which features songs including ‘I wanna be like Osama’ and is described as ‘a madcap gallop through the wacky world of international terrorism,’ is on at the Edinburgh Fringe festival this month.”

Heh.

UPDATE: There’s video!