They say good things come in threes… so why not have three consecutive posts about sex? This one is about a banned vibrator.

(In an attempt to remain at least somewhat family-friendly, I’m instituting a dildos-below-the-fold policy, so the rest of this post is after the jump…)

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Several classrooms at Des Moines Area Community College were evacuated Friday due to a “suspicious package” that turned out to be a box of 500 condoms sent to the teacher of a human sexuality class. Heh.

Dennis Kucinich’s wife is hot. (Hat tip: Becky.)

P.S. Speaking of Democratic presidential candidates, I love this comment by Wonkette while liveblogging last night’s Democratic debate:

Dodd is just a tool of Big Nutmeg.

Heh!

I didn’t watch the debate, and probably won’t, but if you want to, you can view it in nine YouTube clips after the jump.

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“Jenn Sterger Urged To Use Less Passive Voice, More Pictures of Her Boobs.”

I don’t know that any of my NDLS classmates are facing this particular problem (heh), but it’s an interesting one anyway: Does making a porn video disqualify you from being a lawyer?

It’s softcore, if that matters. ;)

P.S. She has a MySpace page, though you have to be on her friends’ list to view any of the details.

And here’s an news clip that shows some censored scenes from the video.

Former USC Song Girl Natalie Nelson, who (in)famously cheered for a Texas touchdown in the 2006 Rose Bowl, and former Trojan center Ryan Kalil, a projected first or early second round pick in the NFL Draft later this month, are getting married! (Hat tip: AOL Fanhouse.)

The lovely Ms. Nelson used to date linebacker Dallas Sartz, but apparently decided to switch to the other side of the ball, if you know what I mean. (Actually, I just mean that Kalil is an offensive player, whereas Sartz is a defensive player. But the phraseology still sounds kinda dirty, doesn’t?)

Intriguingly, Sartz and Kalil were two of USC’s four co-captains last season, along with Oscar Lua and John David Booty. Hmm… one co-captain’s girlfriend leaves him for another co-captain? Depending on the timing of Natalie’s decision, I think we may have a whole new explanation for the Trojans’ terrible performance against UCLA last fall: dissension in the ranks! I blame the, uh, blonde-headed ho! (Hi, Don Imus.)

Just kidding, I’m sure Natalie is a perfectly nice girl, and I’m sure it’s purely a coincidence that she’s marrying the one of her two football-player boyfriends who is expected to be drafted higher. ;) I wish her and her soon-to-be hubby nothing but the best. He’d better watch out, though: according to Natalie’s 2006 interview with SI, one of her “five people (living or dead) I’d like to have dinner with” — just two spots below Jesus — is David Beckham, who will soon be moving to Los Angeles to play for the Galaxy. Kalil had better hope he doesn’t get drafted by one of L.A.’s NFL teams! Oh, wait…

P.S. It’s especially impressive that Natalie has turned out so well, given the troubled childhood she recounted in that same interview: “I have literally grown up on the steps of Heritage Hall since I was two years old.” Literally? The poor girl grew up homeless, on the mean streets of USC’s campus, living outside, on the steps, begging passers-by for scraps from Carl’s Jr.!

Or do you think she didn’t actually mean “literally” when she said “literally”?

The New York Times Science section: it’s all about S-E-X, baby. (Hat tip: Insty.)

Contrary to previous reports, it now appears that Reggie Bush isn’t banned from the Playboy Mansion after all.

It seems Reggie Bush has been banned from the Playboy mansion for an unspecified “conduct violation.” The violation reportedly does not involve a Playmate, but beyond that, details are sketchy. As the linked post says, “maybe Yahoo Sports will launch…a more vigorous investigation.” In the mean time, there is no word on whether Bush’s banishment means USC will have to forfeit its place in the 2005 “Girls of the Pac-10″ issue. :)

Although this was the worst NCAA Tournament in years, last night’s annual post-title-game highlight reel, “One Shining Moment,” was actually the best in some time, IMHO.

(I swear I didn’t make it freeze on that particular frame. But I like it. Hehe.)

After several years of cluttering the song with stupid digital distractions like making the basketball glimmer and using waaay too much slow motion, while neglecting obvious necessities like showing us the most memorable moments of the tournament (last year’s “One Shining Moment” didn’t actually show Northwestern State’s winning shot!!), this year CBS went “back to basics,” giving us a pretty straightforward collection of video highlights. In particular, the back-to-back-to-back airing of the tournament’s three most memorable shots (by VCU’s Eric Maynor, Ohio State’s Ron Lewis and Georgetown’s Jeff Green), with the original play-by-play calls, was excellent — that’s what “One Shining Moment” should be all about. Well, that, and shots of cheerleaders’ butts.

(I actually specifically remember watching them do that dance in St. Louis. Heh.)

The shot of tragically deceased UNC mascot Jason Ray was a nice touch, too. I still could do without the surplus of slow-mo closeups of players’ faces in nondescript situations, and I miss the way “One Shining Moment” used to have a predictable story arc (generally speaking, back in the ’90s versions of the song, the first verse would show early-round upsets and dramatics, the second verse would focus on the tourney’s second weekend, the bridge would transition between the second weekend and the Final Four, and the final verse would highlight the Final Four and title game); everything is more jumbled together now, like Georgetown’s Coach Thompsons hugging at the end of the Elite Eight… barely 30 seconds into the song. But those are quibbles. Overall, I commend CBS for doing a much better job than they have in the last several years, especially given that the source material was less compelling than usual.

Now if only they would get rid of Billy Packer. (Hat tip: Patrick.)

P.S. You can download each and every “One Shining Moment” video going back to 1987, including this year’s, from the iTunes Store.

P.P.S. And yes — I’ll say it so you don’t have to — I am the biggest dork in the universe.

P.P.P.S. Stop staring at the cheerleaders’ asses, you pervs! ;)

P.P.P.P.S. One more gripe with the video: where’s Winthrop? I don’t think they made it in there at all!

Heh:

A cable news program was temporarily replaced with hard-core pornography, shocking viewers who had been watching a health show featuring former NBC News anchor Tom Brokaw.

The incident Monday night on KPPX-TV was “an act of human sabotage” at the Phoenix-area station, said ION Television, which operates the station.

(Hat tip: my dad.)

Hot coach-on-player action on the LSU women’s basketball team? Apparently so:

Pokey Chatman resigned as the head women’s basketball coach at Louisiana State University on Wednesday after the university became aware of an alleged inappropriate sexual relationship between Chatman and a former player on Chatman’s team, sources told ESPN.com.

Earlier, NOLA.com reported that Chatman’s resignation was due to “inappropriate conduct between Chatman and one or more players.”

Also in that article, LSU’s athletic director is quoted as referring to Chatman as “the girl,” which is certainly a very respectful way for an A.D. to refer to a 37-year-old (ex-)coach. As HoopFeed says, “What century does this dude live in? OK, she obviously made some very bad judgment calls but she is in her mid 30s. Not a girl by a stretch. A scandal and rampant sexism. Wow.”

Okay, the second part of that headline is technically premature, but really, is there any doubt it’ll happen? The only real questions are: 1) will she accept the offer; 2) does her American Idol contract forbid it; and 3) if so, will Playboy pay her enough to make it worth her while to breach the contract?

Anyway, so yeah, America finally got it right and voted off the attractive-and-scandalous-yet-untalented Miss Barba. (If you’ve missed out on Barba-gate, here are the infamous photos; varying degrees of SFW-ness, and the “worst” photos aren’t on that page, but I still wouldn’t recommend it if you’re at work.)

Unfortunately, that’s about the only thing America got right. Sabrina Sloan was shown the door as well, for some reason, along with Jared Cotter and Sundance Head. Still on the show: Sanjaya, among others. Ugh.

Updated pool standings after the jump. It’s a three-way tie!

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WTHR has an update on the Indianapolis sex-in-school incident that caused so much discussion on the blog yesterday. The highlight is this quote from a parent: “It just upsets me because it sounds like they’re trying to make excuses. It doesn’t matter to me how long it was, you know, 30 seconds, 30 minutes; it’s too long. I want to know where the teacher was and how this was able to happen.”

I disagree. It certainly does matter if it was “30 minutes,” because if so, that sixth-grade boy needs to think seriously about taking a different career path than what Career Day might suggest. ;)

Sixth-graders having sex during shop class… in Indiana.

When I was in sixth grade, I think I once ineffectually flirted with my crush during shop class. I guess today’s middle schoolers are a little more, uh, advanced. (And now, having said that, I need to go have some Geritol, because I’m officially old.)

[UPDATE: Bumped to top because of a surprisingly robust and interesting discussion. -ed.]