What’s better than a lap dance at a strip club? A lap dance at a strip club that you pay for with a counterfeit $100.

What’s really sad is that you can’t even get a REAL lap dance in Nashville, due to the city’s fairly onerous Sexually Oriented Businesses ordinances. They require a no-touching, 3 foot separation from dancers and patrons at all times. Kinda hard to get an actual “lap” dance that way, I’d suspect.

How would I know about this, you might ask. Well, I just got back from a Continuing Legal Education seminar in Nashville, and well…I picked up a copy of the local alt-weekly while I was there, and they had a pretty scathing article about the whole thing.

p.s. Is the alternate title to this post too crude?

Nice.

Previous months’ selections here.

(Hat tip: David K.)

Here’s a rather entertaining video from our visit to Rocky Mountain National Park showing the SHA girls — Becky, Shannon, Kristy and V — running away from the terrifying spectre of… a chipmunk.

Note also my girly giggle.

You might hear Becky saying something about “bubonic plague.” The reason is because, during the drive up, I had been reading aloud from a pamphlet outlining the various dangers campers might face in the park, and one of them was the possibility that various creatures, including chipmunks, might be infected with the plague. The girls took this remote risk a little too much to heart, methinks. :)

BTW, I’m sorry for not getting my full gallery of Denver pics up yet. Maybe later today. They’re online now! :) Of particular interest, the all-important boob picture:

Heh.

I’ve split the gallery up into three sections: the Denver Zoo, our day in the Rockies, and other pics from the trip. Enjoy!

P.S. Aww, ain’t we cute?

Pic is of Becky with London, a weeks-old kitten owned by Kristy & V's friend Caleb. So adorable! We're hanging out at Leela's in downtown Denver, chilling, eating, drinking, and cooing at the kitty. A perfect Thursday evening, if you ask me.

I would hate to be Michael Vick right now. I mean I would realllllly hate to be him.

His brother is a thug. He’s a thug. A huge thug.

And now this.

He is toast. And rightly so. The things he “allegedly” put those dogs through is despicable.

We just got back from Transformers and, dude, all I have to say is, Megan Fox is HOT.

More photos after the jump.

(more…)

If anything like this ever happens at Superstition Mountain, my blog had better get the scoop. :)

To wear a shirt, or not to wear a shirt? It’s up to you, New York, New York:

Who knew it was legal for a woman to walk around with her breasts exposed in New York?

Well, one woman did - and a cop didn’t - and now she has forced the city to fork over a $29,000 legal settlement for illegally busting her when she lawfully bared her bosom and went for a stroll two years ago.

Why didn’t the producers of Sex & the City ever capitalize on this law?

God bless England.

Well, Paris Hilton’s not in a jail cell anymore.

Way to go California Criminal Justice! Your sterling reputation for dispensing fair, dispassionate justice to all can hardly be questioned.

Jessica Cutler, of Washingtonienne fame, has filed for bankruptcy.

More on sex and porn, and also, Star Trek. (SFW; hat tip: InstaPundit.)

It seems I’ve arrived in Knoxville just in time to catch up on a local sex scandal. On May 7, Tennessee Highway Patrol trooper James Moss pulled over a motorist for speeding. Turns out the motorist was one Justis Richert, trade name Barbie Cummings — a local porn star. She had been speeding, and was in possession of a small amount of narcotics (though apparently not under the influence of said narcotics). When Officer Moss explained that she could face a probation that would bar her from leaving the state, she broke down crying and explained that this would interfere with her career, which requires her to fly to L.A. frequently to make “dirty movies.” This intrigued Officer Moss, who promptly logged onto her website from the computer in his patrol car. From there, one thing led to another, with the end result being an exchange of, ahem, favors: Officer Moss dumped out the drugs and didn’t charge Miss Richert with possession (though he still gave her a speeding ticket), and Miss Richert… well… you can probably guess what her “favor” entailed. She explains in this SFW video, an interview with the Knoxville News-Sentinel:

In an earlier age, such a story probably would have ended there, and the public never would have heard about it. But this is the age of blogs, and of course Miss Richert, a.k.a. Cummings, has one. So naturally, she told the world about the incident in a very definitely NSFW blog post. (Link goes to cached version because the post is no longer available on her site… and again, I emphasize, link is NSFW!! It even contains pictures, taken by Officer Moss… the idiot.)

Actually, on second thought, maybe this story would have broken even in the pre-Internet age, because it wasn’t the blog post that ultimately gave Officer Moss away (though it surely did help captivate the media’s attention) — it was his own stupidity that did him in. He apparently bragged to some of his fellow cops about the incident, and naturally, somebody said something. Now he’s unemployed, the highway patrol is humiliated, the local media is titillated, and Barbie Cummings is basking in the increased traffic to her website. Ah, the power of the blowjob.

UPDATE: Here’s another extremely NSFW blog post in which Miss Richert again tells the “whole story” of the incident (again, with explicit pictures).

And, as long as I’m posting NSFW links, here’s the very much NSFW perspective of a friend of Miss Richert’s in the porn industry (with still more explicit photos). It’s from a blog called “I Shoot Porn.”

Heh.

Well, it may be the subject of a legal dispute, but at least the iGasm isn’t banned in Cyprus!

Jenna Jameson has endorsed Hillary Clinton. (SFW)