Archive for the ‘24’ Category

Jack jumps, tortures, kills shark

Tuesday, April 17th, 2007

Becky and I missed last night’s episode of 24 because of the Sabres game, so I bought it from iTunes and we watched it this evening. Eh. Not a terrible episode, but not great either (in Dave Barry’s words, “For the record: Drums in the soundtrack are not a substitute for action”)… and I’m still not sure how much I care about the rest of this season, now that I know no major cities are going to asplode. Anyway, Doug Mataconis says 24 has jumped the shark and Salon calls this the longest day ever. (Hat tip: Dave Barry.) WARNING: all links contain spoilers about last night’s episode.

24: WTF?

Monday, April 9th, 2007

Spoilers after the jump…


Dumbest 24 episode ever?

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2007

Let’s just put it this way: the best 24 episode in the past week, by far, was South Park‘s “The Snuke” (which can be purchased for $1.99 from iTunes here). Not even a close call.

Spoilers from last night’s real 24 episode after the jump…



Wednesday, March 28th, 2007

Tonight’s new episode of South Park, “The Snuke,” is a must-watch for 24 fans. It’ll air again at midnight EST, then tomorrow at 10:00 PM, Friday morning at midnight, Saturday morning at 12:30 AM, Sunday night at 11:30 PM, and Monday morning at 2:30 AM, on Comedy Central.

Jack should have let Curtis kill Assad

Wednesday, March 28th, 2007

After the jump, a random 24-related thought, followed by some spoileriffic humor. Well, it’s spoileriffic if you haven’t seen Monday night’s episode. My initial “random thought” isn’t spoileriffic unless you’re several episodes behind.

P.S. As you may have noticed, I’ve finally given 24 its own blog category.


Drones to protect airplanes with lasers?

Tuesday, March 27th, 2007

In honor of last night’s episode of 24, I give you… Project Chloe!

No, Project Chloe is not some sort of computer-nerd version of Jack Bauer Kill Count. It’s actually a real-world U.S. military program that would involve both aerial drones and giant lasers. So basically, this is Gredenko meets Dr. Evil. To which I can only say: Awesome. (Hat tip: Dave Barry.)

Cruel and unusual punishment

Wednesday, March 14th, 2007

It’s toenail-trimming day for the cats, and Becky’s getting her Jack Bauer groove on:

“I don’t know where Gredenko is, I swear!”

“Okay, okay! He’s in the Shadow Valley, launching drones!”

Suicide rate among Putin critics continues to climb

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007

A Russian journalist who criticized the Putin regime “fell out of a window” to his death last week. The authorities are saying it was a suicide. Like hell it was. (Hat tip: InstaPundit.)

I don’t generally get my foreign-affairs news from Maxim magazine, but last night I was perusing the copy in our bathroom while on the john, and because I had already read all the good stuff (e.g., the interview with Christina Aguilera, the NYC-vs.-L.A. “which city has the hottest club girls” feature, etc.), I flipped to the article titled “President Putin: Mob Boss?” It isn’t available online, but it basically goes through the ominous recent history of Putin critics dying mysteriously, talks about how Putin has been consolidating power and packing the government with fellow ex-KGB goons, and concludes with a quote from some expert saying words to the effect that “what we are seeing here is the birth of a new fascist state.” A comparison to Mussolini’s Italy is made. (There’s also a quote — with reference to certain deaths of Duma members — along the lines of, “Imagine the FBI going around and killing Congressmen with impunity.”)

Anyway, a Maxim article obviously isn’t authoritative on such a weighty topic, but I think it’s clear we need to be paying more attention to what’s going on over in Mother Russia. And I’m not just saying that because of what’s happening on 24 with Consul Denethor and The Bomb, Dmitri.

Markov = Denethor

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007

I knew it! Markov is played by John Noble, the same guy who played Denethor. His facial expressions were totally the same in the confrontation with Jack Bauer as in the confrontation with Gandalf. I half-expected him to blurt out, “Rule of Gondor is mine! And no other’s!” Yeah, let Chloe figure that one out…

Speaking of Chloe: we went a whole hour without any stupid Morris/Chloe subplot nonsense!! YAY!!!

Win and you’re in

Monday, March 5th, 2007

Santa Clara and Gonzaga are underway in the WCC title game.


UPDATE: It’s 40-35 Zags at halftime.

I was flipping back and forth between the game and 24, so let me make sure I have this straight: Derek Raivio is working with Dmitri Gredenko to launch drones that will be used as a delivery system to drop nukes on Danny Pariseau. Right? Sounds good to me! Go Zags!

UPDATE 2: 61-52 Gonzaga with 4:28 left. w00t!

FINAL UPDATE: Gonzaga 77, Santa Clara 68, final.



Dick Cheney = Noah Daniels?

Tuesday, February 27th, 2007

NRO‘s Kathryn Jean Lopez fantastizes about a Cheney ’08 candidacy, and muses that “President Cheney would make Tom Lennox secretary of homeland security.” Heh.

Speaking of which, I never posted a 24 thread yesterday, so if anyone is dying to talk about last night’s episode, this would be a good place to do so. TiVoers not wanting to encounter spoilers might want to steer clear of comments on this post. For my part, I’ll offer just one spoiler, after the jump:


24 gripe of the day

Monday, February 19th, 2007

The Morris/Chloe subplot is killing me.


That is all.

Nuke news

Tuesday, February 13th, 2007

24 superman Jack Bauer is hunting down suitcase nukes in L.A., the heroes of Heroes are trying to stop a nuke from going off in New York, and the residents of a small town in Kansas are trying to figure out which cities got nuked, and who nuked ’em, on CBS’s surprise hit Jericho (which resumes tomorrow with a one-hour recap at 8pm, then starts its second half-season in earnest next Wednesday). In sum, TV executives are discovering that nukes make for good TV.

Unfortunately, there’s news about nukes in the real world, too — some of it bad and some of it… well, you be the judge.

First, the unequivocally bad:

Iran will be able to develop enough weapons-grade material for a nuclear bomb and there is little that can be done to prevent it, an internal European Union document has concluded.

In an admission of the international community’s failure to hold back Iran’s nuclear ambitions, the document – compiled by the staff of Javier Solana, EU foreign policy chief – says the atomic programme has been delayed only by technical limitations rather than diplomatic pressure. “Attempts to engage the Iranian administration in a negotiating process have not so far succeeded,” it states.

Gee, ya think?

Speaking of negotiation and engagement, here’s the other news:

In a landmark international accord, North Korea promised Tuesday to close down and seal its main nuclear reactor within 60 days in return for 50,000 tons of fuel oil as a first step in abandoning all nuclear weapons and research programs.

That sounds like good news. But can we trust it, or will it lull us into a false sense of security? Let’s not forget what happened the last time we made a deal with North Korea to shut down its nuclear program. They took the “incentives” with one hand and kept secretly building nukes with the other. Can we be sure they won’t do the same thing again? Does this “landmark international accord” provide for meaningful oversight and muscular enforcement if Kim Taepodong Il doesn’t keep his end of the bargain? As usual, the devil’s in the details. And some of those don’t sound terribly encouraging:

North Korea also expressed willingness to accept the return of nuclear inspectors from the International Atomic Energy Agency to monitor what is going on at the reactor and other nuclear installations. But it said their work would be subject to agreement between the North Korean government and the U.N. nuclear agency, suggesting North Korea could exercise a veto power over their activities.

Good news or bad news? Only time will tell, methinks.

24: things I don’t understand

Monday, February 12th, 2007

Halfway through the two-hour episode of 24, I have two burning questions. They’re after the jump. WARNING: Spoilers!


The following blog post takes place between the hours of 11:00 AM and 12:00 PM

Monday, February 12th, 2007

WARNING: SPOILERS! for anyone who hasn’t seen the episodes of “24” that have already aired this season.

As I anxiously look forward to tonight’s special two-hour episode of 24, I find myself bemusedly pondering the delightful implausibility of the show’s central conceit: that the events in question all take place in the course of a single day. I’m sure this sort of thought process is old hat to long-time fans, but remember, this is my first season watching 24. As such, I am extremely amused at the total absurdity inherent in accepting that Jack Bauer is still a functional human being when, in the course of seven hours, he has:

• Returned a traumatized mute from nearly two years of torture in China;
• Learned that his life is being traded away to terrorists for the “greater good”;
• Been sadistically tortured by said terrorists;
• Shot one of his closest friends dead to save the life of a terrorist;
• Watched a nuclear bomb go off in his home city;
• Narrowly escaped death (numerous times);
• Tortured his own brother (twice);
• Learned that member(s) of own family is/are responsible for the nuclear attack, as well as the assassination of a previous President of the United States and the deaths of two of his colleagues.

All of that, I say again, in the space of seven hours! (Bonus: the first five items, and several instances of the sixth item, all happened in the space of four hours!)

“Good lord, not a two-hour episode! That means several more unspeakably horrible things will inevitably happen to me!”

And we’re supposed to believe that he’s still out and about, perfectly able to do his job (on which tens of thousands of lives depend)? Rather than being cooped up in a mental hospital somewhere, muttering gibberish?


24‘s alternate title should be “Jack Bauer’s Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day — Part 6.” Or perhaps simply “Worst. Day. Ever.” (In place of the trademark “beep… beep… beep” ticking-clock sound, you’d have a narration of the title by the Comic Book Guy, of course).

Thank God for suspension of disbelief! :) I can’t wait for hours 8 and 9 tonight. Beep… beep… beep…

P.S. On my list of traumatizing events that have happened to Jack Bauer in the last seven hours, I forgot at least one fairly significant one:

• Barely prevented his own death, and countless others, by kicking a suicide bomber out the back door of a train a split-second before the bomber exploded.

A specific mention of “biting a guy’s jugular off” might also have been appropriate.