Peter Evans, July 2: “‘Summer terror spectacular’? Is it a musical? Will the terrorists be holding a musical?”

AFP, August 2: “‘Jihad: The Musical,’ which features songs including ‘I wanna be like Osama’ and is described as ‘a madcap gallop through the wacky world of international terrorism,’ is on at the Edinburgh Fringe festival this month.”

Heh.

UPDATE: There’s video!

Just got a breaking-news email from ABC News with this rather scary headline: “WASHINGTON, D.C., CLOSES AT LEAST TWO GREEN LINE METRO STATIONS AS DEAD BIRDS ARE FOUND.” But based on the AP article, it doesn’t sound like terrorism:

Authorities have confirmed that the substance that killed up to 20 birds at the Greenbelt metro station and brought hazmat crews to three others is rat poison.

D.C. fire department spokesman Alan Etter says the metro will have to figure out if the poison was put out by an employee or contractor.

He says they “strongly suspect” that the same substance was responsible for the dead birds at Naylor Road, Anacostia and Takoma stations.

He says the birds from the D.C. stations are being packaged up and taken to the health department, since the rain and wind caused most of the substance to wash away by the time the fire department got there.

The discovery came shortly after noon today and caused the Greenbelt and Takoma stations to close during the investigation.

A man reported a bomb threat for a Memphis bound plane he had missed at SeaTac airport in hopes it would cause the plane to return. It did, but he didn’t get on it, he was arrested. Police searched the luggage on the plane and passengers had to deplane. The flight which initially departed at 12:33 p.m. did not leave again until 5 p.m.. No word yet on what will happen to the man although he may win the award for stupidest man of the year.

A classified intelligence report, leaked to the AP, says that Sauron has regained much of his former strength. He cannot yet take physical form, but his spirit has lost none of its potency.

Er, wait, wrong link, sorry. The report actually says that Al Qaeda has rebuilt its strength to pre-9/11 levels.

However, the Bush Administration denies yesterday’s ABC report that an “urgent meeting” has been called in response to new intelligence indicating that “a small al Qaeda cell is on its way to the United States, or may already be here.” That followed on the heels of a previous ABC report that Al Qaeda is planning a “spectacular” attack in the U.S. this summer. But White House spokesman Tony Fratto says, “There continues to be no credible, specific intelligence to suggest that there is an imminent threat to the homeland. … There is no emergency meeting.”

ABC News’s “The Blotter” — which previously reported that intelligence officials have picked up indications, similar to pre-9/11 chatter, that terrorists are planning a “spectacular” attack against the U.S. over the summer — is now reporting this:

Senior U.S. intelligence officials tell ABC News new intelligence suggests a small al Qaeda cell is on its way to the United States, or may already be here.

The White House has convened an urgent multi-agency meeting for Thursday afternoon to deal with the new threat.

Top intelligence and law enforcement officials have been told to assemble in the Situation Room to report on:

–what steps can be taken to minimize or counter the threat,

–and what steps are being taken to harden security for government buildings and personnel.

“It suggests they have information that the cell or cells coming this direction want to attack a government facility,” Brad Garrett, a former FBI agent and ABC News consultant, said.

Law enforcement officials say the recent failed attacks in London have provided important new clues about possible tactics.

And officials say the London attackers use of the Internet left important clues that are being used to decode other e-mails that had initially been deemed unimportant but are now taking on new significance.

A senior administration official said the level of concern of a new terror attack is now higher than it has been in some time, and the meeting this week in the situation room is one of a number that have been convened in light of the new intelligence and what happened in London.

I have a couple of questions.

First, if this is really such an “urgent” threat, why are they meeting on Thursday afternoon? Today is Tuesday.

And second, if they’re going to “assemble in the Situation Room,” shouldn’t someone alert Wolf Blitzer? :)

P.S. According to commenter “shirley” on The Blotter, this is a “transparent” attempt to distract us from the David Vitter sex scandal. Yeah, I’m just sure. Saving Louisiana’s junior senator from public embarrassment is a really high priority for our intelligence and law-enforcement agencies.

Alas, many other comments are along the same lines (albeit with slightly more plausible theories regarding what they’re trying to distract us from), which is an indictment of both the Far Left’s lunacy and the Bush Administration’s failure to earn the trust of the American people.

P.P.S. Lunacy is not restricted to the Left, of course. Many of the non-conspiracy-minded commenters are calling for us to close our borders completely in response to the threat. As “Jennifer” puts it: “I’m sorry, but the only people who should be allowed in the United States are people who are born in the United States. Drastic times call for drastic measures.”

Conspiracy-mongering nut jobs versus xenophobic wackos. This is political discourse in America in the year 2007. *sigh*

UPDATE: The Blotter’s earlier report about the fear of an attack this summer, previously unconfirmed by U.S. officials, is now being confirmed, at least by Michael Chertoff’s “gut”:

U.S. counterterror officials are warning of an increased risk of an attack this summer, given al-Qaida’s apparent interest in summertime strikes and increased al-Qaida training in the Afghan-Pakistani border region.

On Tuesday, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff told the editorial board of The Chicago Tribune that he had a “gut feeling” about a new period of increased risk.

He based his assessment on earlier patterns of terrorists in Europe and intelligence he would not disclose.

“Summertime seems to be appealing to them,” Chertoff said in his discussion with the newspaper about terrorists. “We worry that they are rebuilding their activities.”

Other U.S. counterterrorism officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity, shared Chertoff’s concern and said that al-Qaida and like-minded groups have been able to plot and train more freely in the tribal areas along the Afghan-Pakistani border in recent months. Osama bin Laden and his top deputy, Ayman al-Zawahri, are believed to be hiding in the rugged region.

“The threat coming out of there is very real, even if there aren’t a lot of specifics attached to it,” one of the officials said.

Here’s a partial transcript of the referenced Chicago Tribune interview, and here’s the Tribune article about it.

It’s 7/7/07, which means some superstitious folk are gambling or getting married — or better yet, doing both (in Vegas). Meanwhile, in Connecticut, one man is turning 77.

On a far more somber note, it’s the second anniversary of the 7/7 bombings in London.

Pink-pistol-toting, heterosexual-hating lesbian gangs terrorizing America? Bill O’Reilly is on the case — and by “case,” of course I mean “nonexistent bunch of baloney made up by a Fox News ‘expert’ who doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about.” (Hat tip: Becky, via Fark.)

UPDATE: Here are some photos of the lesbian evildoers! And here’s their anthem!

P.S. As long as I’m blogging about ridiculous nonsense on Fox News… remember my firmly tongue-in-cheek post about how “if we adopt nationalized health care, the terrorists will win” because the U.K.’s National Health Service “breeds terrorists”? Well, Fox’s Neil Cavuto had a guest on his show yesterday who actually argued that! With a straight face!

Eugene Robinson:

[T]here’s really no way to prevent a bunch of [terrorist] wannabes from shopping at Home Depot [to buy primitive car-bomb components], and that brings me to my second possible reason why the United States isn’t being hit the way Britain is. I think we have far fewer wannabes.

The radical, anti-Western, jihadist ideas that inspire would-be suicide bombers in Britain and elsewhere in Europe have a much harder time finding receptive ears here — even though it’s the United States that many Muslims around the world believe is leading a modern-day crusade against Islam. I know there are Muslims here who are bitterly angry about U.S. foreign policy under George W. Bush but who do not respond by killing themselves and others.

I think that’s because the United States, for all its faults, is still the most inclusive society on Earth. Our nation has a way of making outsiders into participants, a way of convincing people that they are protagonists, not just pawns. The United States can fall short of its promises, but it has a genius for manufacturing possibility. If people have even a glimpse of a better tomorrow, no matter how unbearable today might be, they are less likely to pack a car with explosives and crash it into an airport.

There’s hope for us yet. Have a happy Fourth of July.

(Hat tip: Chops.)

All joking aside, it really does seem that the recent terror plot in Britain was the attack of the killer doctors.

If this doesn’t drive a stake into the heart of the oft-repeated, repeatedly disproven mantra that terrorists are all “poor and desperate,” I don’t know what will.

If we adopt nationalized health care, the terrorists will win:

An Iraqi junior doctor and a brilliant neurologist working for the NHS are among the suspects being quizzed over the series of bomb attacks across Britain, it emerged today.

For those who don’t know, “NHS” refers not to Newington High School, my alma mater, but to the National Health Service, Britain’s much-maligned, Michael Moore-endorsed public health-care system. Which, we now learn, breeds terrorists. So, y’see? HILLARYCARE = TERRORISM. Now there’s a bumper sticker for you. ;)

The U.K.’s Evening Standard reports:

Anti-terrorist detectives swooped on five members of the gang across Britain after gathering crucial clues from phones found in the two London car bombs.

The phones were meant to trigger a blast when they were called. The bombers twice called the car outside the Tiger Tiger nightclub in Haymarket, and the one in Cockspur Street four times, but the bombs failed to detonate for technical reasons.

“Technical reasons,” eh? Wouldn’t it be great if it turned out the terrorists were trying to set off the bombs with newly purchased iPhones, but failed because they couldn’t activate them? ;)

A grain of salt is probably called for, in light of all the many previous terror warnings that (mercifully) haven’t panned out, but for what it’s worth:

A secret U.S. law enforcement report, prepared for the Department of Homeland Security, warns that al Qaeda is planning a terror “spectacular” this summer, according to a senior official with access to the document.

“This is reminiscent of the warnings and intelligence we were getting in the summer of 2001,” the official told ABCNews.com.

Perhaps adding some credibility to the report, or at least to the general ability of our intelligence services to get stuff like this right, apparently we had intelligence two weeks ago that “airport infrastructure or aircraft” in Glasgow might be targeted.

Also, while American officials aren’t speaking on-the-record about this alleged intelligence of a summer terror threat, “officials in Germany have publicly warned that the country could face a major attack this summer, also comparing the situation to the pre-9/11 summer of 2001.”

Another attempted terror attack in the United Kingdom? Apparently so, but it doesn’t seem to have done much damage, heavens be praised:

GLASGOW, Scotland (AP) - Two men rammed a flaming sport utility vehicle into the main terminal of Glasgow airport Saturday, crashing into the glass doors at the entrance and sparking a fire, witnesses said. Police said two suspects were arrested.

The airport - Scotland’s largest - was evacuated and all flights suspended, a day after British police thwarted a plot to bomb central London, discovering two cars abandoned with loads of gasoline, gas canisters and nails. …

In Glasgow, the green SUV barreled toward the building at full speed shortly after 3 p.m., hitting security barriers before crashing into the glass doors and exploding, witnesses said. Two men jumped out of the burning vehicle, one of them engulfed in flames, they said.

“The car came speeding past at about 30 mph. It was approaching the building quickly,” said Scott Leeson, who was nearby at the time. “Then the driver swerved the car around so he could ram straight in to the door. He must have been trying to smash straight through.” …

Passengers fled running and screaming from the busy terminal, Margaret Hughes told the British Broadcasting Corp. … Police said it was unclear if anyone was injured. ….

Leeson said bollards - security posts outside the entrance - stopped the driver from barreling into the bustling terminal at Glasgow’s airport.

“He’s trying to get through the main door frame but the bollards have stopped him from going through. If he’d got through, he’d have killed hundreds, obviously,” he said.

Leeson said only the nose of the vehicle made it inside the building. Richard Grey told the BBC that the vehicle was lodged into the center of the terminal’s main entrance.

“The jeep is completely on fire and it exploded not long after. It exploded at the entrance to the terminal,” witness Stephen Clarkson told the BBC. “It may have been an explosion of petrol in the tank because it was not a massive explosion.”

More here and here.

UPDATE:

British authorities raised that nation’s threat level to “critical” today following a vehicle attack on a passenger terminal at Glasgow airport in Scotland, British authorities said.

The last time the threat level was raised to critical in the United Kingdom was last August after a liquid bomb plot was foiled.

Subsequently the threat level had been reduced to severe where it remained until today.

Although the threat level “critical” is meant to indicate an attack is imminent, in practice the British appear to have reserved its use for after an attack or attempted attack has already occurred and a follow-up attack is imminent.

Yikes:

LONDON (AP) - Police thwarted an apparent terror attack Friday near Piccadilly Circus, defusing an explosive car loaded with gas cylinders, nails and a detonator after an ambulance crew reported seeing smoke coming from the vehicle.

The explosives were powerful enough to have caused “significant injury or loss of life” - possibly killing hundreds in an area famed for its nightlife, British anti-terror police chief Peter Clarke said.

The ambulance crew was there “responding to a call just before 1:30 a.m. about an injury at a nearby nightclub” when they noticed the smoke coming from the car. Whoever caused that injury may have saved a lot of lives!

P.S. According to the BBC, “Police sources say it is quite possible the device failed to ignite - and might have been minutes away from exploding.”

Roundup of links here.

Drudge just put up a siren for this AP article:

The Bush administration is nearing a decision to close the Guantanamo Bay detention facility and move the terror suspects there to military prisons elsewhere, The Associated Press has learned.

President Bush’s national security and legal advisers are expected to discuss the move at the White House on Friday and, for the first time, it appears a consensus is developing, senior administration officials said Thursday.