Avast! Hurricanes Gordon and Helene be tearin’ up the sea with their monstrous winds:
Here be a closer view of Helene, a storm so mighty she could strike fear into the heart of Blackbeard himself:
Steer clear of these fearsome gales, fellow pirates, or you’ll wind up at the bottom of Davy Jones’ locker!
Yo-ho, me hearties — today be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, you scurvy dogs. Shiver me timbers!
All I can say is: Fight on Tarrrrrojans, Beat Arrrrrizona! And Go Irrrrrish, Beat Sparrrrrrrtans!
P.S. Arrr! Pirates be multilateral! Or so says that slab-sided bugger, Jonah Goldberg at NRRRRRRO:
“Avast, bilge rats of the UN….”
Obviously, Bush must adhere to the dictates of the international community and deliver his speech today in accordance with International Talk Like A Pirate Day.
Come to think of it, U.N. resolutions are a lot like the Pirate’s Code: they’re more guidelines, really. Just ask Saddam Hussein! (He’s a wretched scrofulous whoreson bilge rat, he is. Arr.)
Other bloggers are imagining what it would be like if Congress got into the act:
Rep. Tom Davis: Avast me hearties, it is a good day to legislate.
Sen. Ted Kennedy: Aye, I’ve had me grog, and I be ready to set forth the laws of this here land.
Rep. Tom Davis: Arrrrrr.
P.P.S. The National Hurrrrricane Center is no fun. Why not issue the 11:00 AM discussion on Hurrrrricane Gorrrrrdon in pirate-speak?
THERE BE ONLY A HINT OF AN EYE, SAYS I, ON SATELLITE IMAGERY BUT THE CLOUD PATTERN BE LOOKIN’ MIGHTY FINE FOR A TROPICAL CYCLONE AT SUCH HIGH LATITUDE…AND IT STILL BE DETACHED FROM ANY FRONTAL SYSTEM, ARRR. THE WEAKENING TREND HAS ALREADY BEGUN, IT HAS, AND THE INITIAL INTENSITY IS LOWERED TO 75 KNOTS, ME HEARTIES. SINCE GORRRRRDON IS EXPECTED TO MOVE OVER INCREASINGLY COOLER WATERS AND BEGIN TO INTERACT WITH A FRONTAL SYSTEM…IT SHOULD GO DOWN TO DAVY JONES’ LOCKER IN ABOUT 24 HOURS. ALL PHASE DIAGRAMS FROM FSU, THOSE SEMINOLE SEA RATS, SUGGEST THAT GORRRRRDON SHOULD BECOME FULLY EXTRATROPICAL SOON. HOWEVER…WE’RE NAUGHT BUT HUMBLE METEOROLOGISTS, SO IT BE VERY DIFFICULT FOR US TO FORECAST THE PRECISE TIMING OF THIS OCCURRENCE. THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT GORRRRRDON IS EXPECTED TO CROSS THE AZORRRRRES AS A HURRRRRRICANE. SHIVER ME TIMBERS AND BOARD UP ME WINDOWS! THERE’S A STORM A-COMIN’!
Really, is that so much to ask?
P.P.P.S. Here be two YouTube guides for you land-lubbers who need some learnin’ about how to talk like proper pirates:
Helpful vocabularrrry here.
And, by the by, ye land-lubbers can learn your pirate names here. Mine be Cap’n Harvey Snaggletooth, as you blog-buccaneers can see in my blasted byline above. Arr!