It seems there was a fire in Dick Cheney’s office this morning:
The historic Eisenhower Executive Office Building next door to the
White House caught fire this morning, and D.C. firefighters broke
windows and doused the second and third floors with water in order to
extinguish the two-alarm blaze. …
[Witness Katie] Johnson said the smoke appeared to be concentrated in or near the ceremonial office of Vice President Cheney.
Oh, but it gets better:
[D.C. fire department spokesman Alan] Etter would not speculate on exactly where the fire originated –
citing both the early stage of the investigation but also a request for
discretion by the U.S. Secret Service.
It’s a cover-up, I say! A cover-up!! Cheney lied, buildings fried!!!
What was Vice President Cheney burning, you ask? Well, isn’t it obvious? His weekly "ceremonial" kitten-and-puppy pyre (their cries give him strength!) caused a bit more smoke than usual this week, and now those nosy media and police types are sniffing around. They’d better watch themselves. If they get too close to the truth, Dick Cheney will shoot them in the face.