It’s surprisingly difficult to come up with a fitting birthday tribute to the love of one’s life. Nothing seems adequate! I could write a silly (or sappy) poem about Becky, or post a cute picture of her, or just say “I love you, honey bunny! Happy birthday!” … but surely there’s something more meaningful I can post, especially on a birthday that feels like something of a milestone (a quarter century!). Yet I’ve been sitting here, staring at this screen for the better part of the last hour, and I’m still at a loss.

Hmm, well, here’s an idea. Maybe it would be fun to think about where we were, both geographically and in our lives (now our life) as a couple, on each previous Becky birthday since we met. Cue the BrendanLoy.com time machine…

When Becky turned 17, we hadn’t started college yet, but technically we had already met — at USC’s east-coast orientation in Newark, New Jersey, a few months earlier. (We sat at the same dinner table, along with Mike Wiser, and she remembers thinking that I was a huge dork. I think she would have fainted if you told her then that we’d be married someday!) Anyway, on her 17th birthday (June 14, 1999), she was in Buffalo, presumably finishing up her junior year at SHA (Becky went to college after her junior year, as part of USC’s RHP program), and I was in Newington, eight days from graduating high school. For both of us, the great unknown of college — and life away from our parents — lay ahead.

On Becky’s 18th birthday, she was in London… and I was in Newington, pining away after her. We had started dating in February of our freshman year at USC, and our relationship had become a long-distance one in May, when she headed across the pond for a study abroad program. As I recall, I had flowers delivered to her flat on her birthday, and I think I tried to time one of my love letters so that it would arrive around the 14th. It was right around then, I believe Becky has said, that she fell in love with me, or realized she was in love with me. I know I fell in love with her a few weeks later, when I went to visit her in London; indeed, I can describe the exact moment it happened. After pining away all summer, then enduring a transatlantic flight and a long wait at customs, I finally made it to the waiting area at Heathrow, and there she was: I can picture her smiling face (not to mention her cute outfit) in my mind’s eye to this day, and I remember vividly the feeling of knowing, in that moment, that I was head-over-heels in love with this girl. It was a feeling I’d never experienced before, and it was truly the most wonderful feeling in the world.

When Becky turned 19, we were together on her birthday for the first time. I went to visit her in Buffalo, and her parents took us to Toronto. I remember it was one of the first times, if not the first, that I’d ever stayed in a really fancy hotel. Mmm, the comfy sheets. :) During the course of that trip, though not on the birthday itself, we went to the Toronto Zoo. Becky loves zoos. But alas, as I recall, Becky got kinda sick that day, a combination of stomach upset and anxiety attack that would be a precursor of many health-related trials and tribulations to come. All that stuff only made our bond stronger, though, such that by the time we got married, we already knew we could make it “in sickness and in health.”

A few weeks before Becky’s 20th birthday rolled around, I had the amazing good fortune of again experiencing an oh-my-God-I-love-her moment that I can identify specifically and remember like it was yesterday: she was arriving in Newington for my parents’ 25th anniversary celebration, and as she pulled into my driveway, I had that same rush of emotion when I saw her face, just like in London two years earlier: it was like I fell in love with her all over again. I imagine some people live their entire lives without ever having that feeling; I got to experience it twice, with the same girl. I am truly blessed. … Anyway, we weren’t in Newington for Becky’s 20th birthday, but in Buffalo. That birthday, which fell on a Friday, was probably the most fun of ‘em all, thus far. We spent the weekend hanging out with her parents and friends… and her brand new kitten, Toby. On the night of her birthday, we crossed the border with the SHA girls into Canada — where the legal age is 19, so we could all drink — and had a wonderful night of merrymaking at Clifton Hill (part of Niagara Falls), complete with a memorable karaoke performance of Elton John’s “Your Song.” Afterward, designated driver Barb chauferred us back into the country, and let us all (me, Becky, Kristy and V) crash in her tiny UB dorm room. Ah, good times.

By Becky’s 21st birthday, we were college graduates, having graduated from USC a month earlier, and we were uncertain of our future as a couple. She was headed to Arizona for grad school; I was trying to get a job in New York City during my year off before law school, and then was bound for Indiana. In other words, we were headed in different directions geographically. Everyone around us pretty much knew we were destined to get married and spend the rest of our lives together, but we were still figuring that out. :) However, we still managed to be together on her birthday: I flew up from NYC to Buffalo, where she was still living at that point (she’d move to Arizona a month-and-a-half later), and as a birthday present for her, I got us both tickets to the American Idols Live concert in Buffalo the following month. (We had both been big Clay Aiken fans in the just-concluded Season 2 of Idol.) I don’t remember exactly what we did on her birthday itself, but being that it was her 21st, I’m pretty sure it involved partying with the SHA girls again.

A lot changed between birthdays #21 and #22: I got a job in New York; she moved from Buffalo to Arizona, bought a house, and started her Ph.D. program at ASU; I realized I missed her too desperately to keep living apart, so I quit my job in New York and moved to Arizona to be with her; she realized something similar, and decided (for that and other reasons) to just get a Master’s instead of a Ph.D., so we’d be apart less during law school; I gave her a “promise ring,” and then, just a couple of months later, realized there was no point dancing around the issue: I might as well just propose. After many months of mutual uncertainty, it hit me very quickly after a few months (weeks, even) in Arizona that I was absolutely certain I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Becky. (Best decision I ever made.) So, although she didn’t know it yet, on her 22nd birthday we were less than three weeks away from being engaged! Foreshadowing what was to come, I called her the “love of my life” on that year’s blog birthday greeting, and although it wasn’t quite official yet, we both knew it was meant to be. Anyway, for her actual birthday, we went on a boat ride on Roosevelt Lake with her parents, which was very fun.

We were in South Bend on Becky’s 23rd birthday. We were, of course, engaged by that point, and had already set December 30 of that year (2005) as our wedding day. I had just finished my first year of law school, and was about to start my clerkship at the U.S. Attorney’s office downtown. I bought Becky a Dairy Queen cake (in South Bend, we basically lived immediately behind the parking lot of a DQ), and we went to the Potawatomi Zoo to celebrate her birthday. Did I mention that Becky loves zoos? :)

We were back in Arizona — Glendale this time — on Becky’s 24th birthday, her first as a married woman. I was working for Bryan Cave and her birthday fell on a Wednesday, so we didn’t do anything terribly special on the day itself (though I did post something on the blog, of course), but the weekend before, we went to the Out of Africa Wild Animal Park with her parents. Again with the trend of celebrating birthdays at zoos, or zoo-like attractions. :)

And now, here we are, birthday #25, in Knoxville. That’s the seventh different city we’ve been in, together, on one or more of her birthdays (Buffalo, Toronto, Niagara Falls, Mesa, South Bend, Glendale and now Knoxville), and it represents yet another exciting chapter of our life together. I can’t tell you too many details about any planned birthday celebrations, since Becky will presumably see this in the morning, and I don’t want to give anything away! :) But suffice it to say, it should be a fun birthday celebration.

It’s been a remarkable, memorable, eventful, and truly wonderful journey we’ve been on these past seven-plus years, and I can’t wait to see where it takes us next.

Becky, I adore you! I love you with all my heart. Happy 25th Birthday, and I can’t wait to spend another 25 years with you, and another 25 after that, and another 25 after that.

P.S. Oh yeah, and… Happy Flag Day! :)