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Bald Britney breakdown
Posted by on Monday, February 19, 2007 at 3:07 am

Britney Spears appars to be pretty much falling apart.




20 Comments on “Bald Britney breakdown”

  1. kcatnd Says:

    I hope Britney doesn’t become the next Michael Jackson.

  2. Jazz Says:

    Its my understanding that one of the bizarre manifestations of raging cocaine addiction is a sudden desire to cut off one’s hair, on the drug-induced belief that there are all manner of bugs living in one’s locks.

    One can’t be certain that Britney is a raging coke-head, but

    I hope Britney doesn’t become the next Michael Jackson

    its possible that her story will make His/story look like child’s play.

    (Wait a second. That didn’t come out right).

  3. Brian Foster Says:

    Jazz — I am in awe. That was brilliant on at least four different levels. Extremely well played.

  4. PenguinSix Says:

    Flinstones chewable morphine…

  5. Sean Says:

    It’s pretty sad when Kevin Federline is a more capable parent than you.

  6. Texasyank Says:

    “I can’t believe I nearly dated her.”

    –Ralph Wiggums

  7. SmoothCriminal Says:

    Britney will never be the next Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson had talent. Britney never did. It would have been best if MJ didnt make it through the Pepsi accident. then he would have just been seen as incredibly talented, but pressured and strange. i think the Pepsi accident is (subconsciously) why Brendan prefers Coke products now.

  8. Britney is a Disaster Says:

    Things I never want:

    1) To be famous;
    2) To be multi-multi-multi millionaire;
    3) To have cameras following me around 24/7;
    4) To be able to party 7 nights a week;
    5) To have my moral and ethical decisions controlled by a record label purusant to a recording contract;
    6) To be confronted by incessant shrieking everytime I come across preteen or teenage girls;
    7) To have my perception of reality so warped that I find it wise to marry a backup dancer with 2 children out of wedlock after one casual encounter in a dance club;
    8) To consider my closest confidantes a girl who thinks Wal-Mart sells “wall stuff” and an under-21 girl who drinks every night and cannot even write a single coherent sentence;
    9) To have 2 children in under 2 years with said backup dancer and promptly file for divorce when I find myself shocked that this dancer does drugs and cheats on me;
    10) To prefer boozing it up with said confidantes while wearing no underwear over spending time with my infant children;
    11) To claim Madonna (the chanteuse not the Virgin) as my hero;
    12) To memorialize myself on the cover of Rolling Stone in my underwear;
    13) To make such memorialization before I even turn 18;
    14) To wear absolutely nothing but shear, full-body panty hose clad with tiny diamonds in a music video certain to be watched by millions of little girls and perverted men alike;
    15) To, through a deliberate and concerted corporate image machine, completely and entirely reduce myself to a sex object to be consumed by the masses;
    16) To finally gain a small conception of how broken my life that I enter rehab;
    17) To leave that unfortunate though necessary rehab after ONE DAY;
    18) To opt instead for a shaved head and visible body tatoo; AND
    ) To wholly and irretrievably divest myself of independence, control, and influence over my own life.

    Britney Spears’ life is presently a disaster. I pity her.

  9. Britney is a Disaster Says:

    Things I never want:

    1) To be famous;
    2) To be a multi-multi-multi millionaire;
    3) To have cameras following me around 24/7;
    4) To be able to party 7 nights a week;
    5) To have my moral and ethical decisions controlled by a record label purusant to a recording contract;
    6) To be confronted by incessant shrieking everytime I come across preteen or teenage girls;
    7) To have my perception of reality so warped that I find it wise to marry a backup dancer with 2 children out of wedlock after one casual encounter in a dance club;
    8) To consider my closest confidantes a girl who thinks Wal-Mart sells “wall stuff” and an under-21 girl who drinks every night and cannot even write a single coherent sentence;
    9) To have 2 children in under 2 years with said backup dancer and promptly file for divorce when I find myself shocked that this dancer does drugs and cheats on me;
    10) To prefer boozing it up with said confidantes while wearing no underwear over spending time with my infant children;
    11) To claim Madonna (the chanteuse not the Virgin) as my hero;
    12) To memorialize myself on the cover of Rolling Stone in my underwear;
    13) To make such memorialization before I even turn 18;
    14) To wear absolutely nothing but shear, full-body panty hose clad with tiny diamonds in a music video certain to be watched by millions of little girls and perverted men alike;
    15) To, through a deliberate and concerted corporate image machine, completely and entirely reduce myself to a sex object to be consumed by the masses;
    16) To finally gain a conception of how broken my life is sufficient to voluntarily enter rehab;
    17) To leave that unfortunate though necessary rehab program after ONE DAY;
    18) To opt instead for a shaved head and visible body tatoo; AND
    19) To wholly and irretrievably divest myself of independence, control, and influence over my own life.

    Britney Spears’ life is presently a disaster. I pity her.

  10. Perverted Man Says:

    Things I want:

    1) Copy of the magazine cover referenced in #12 above

    2) Copy of the video referenced in #14 above

    3) For Britney to get through this Drew Barrymore breakdown thing and return to being hot

  11. Texasyank Says:

    What Perverted Man said. Um, what was the number of that Rolling Stone?

  12. David K. Says:

    I aggree with Britney is a Disaster, this may make for good tabloid news, but i just feel sorry for her, she must be a very sad, lonely, and depressed person. Hopefully she gets the help she needs and some real friends, along wiht some perspective too.

  13. Mad Max, Esquire Says:

    I don’t feel sorry for her at all. I feel sorry for starving children in Africa or families impacted by Katrina. I don’t feel sorry for a spoiled, self-indulgent multi-millionaire.

  14. Britney is a Disaster Says:

    Yeah, you said it Max … the lives of spoiled, self-indulgent multi-millionaires are not as important as the lives of starving children in Africa.

    Actually, your selective compassion is rather pathetic.

  15. Mad Max, Esquire Says:

    “Actually, your selective compassion is rather pathetic.”

    This, coming from “Britney is a Disaster.”

    I can’t help it if you can’t make the distinction between someone who has been given all the opportunity in the world and then squandered it due to her own actions compared to people who are the victims of circumstances beyond their control.

    Jesus didn’t pity the rich and powerful. He had his greatest compassion for the poor. I guess by your standards, Jesus was “rather pathetic” as well.

  16. Britney is Pathetic Says:

    Actually, Max, check your Bible. Jesus’ compassion was universal. In fact, that’s a central tenet of Christianity … unless of course you’re a Calvinist.

  17. Sandy Underpants Says:

    I don’t feel sorry for starving kids in Africa.

    If they want to eat move out of the desert and get a job.

  18. Mad Max, Esquire Says:

    Jesus’ compassion was universal…

    “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God”

    “But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.”

    “For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.”

    ..Don’t know which Bible you are reading. Jesus basically said rich people are going to hell if they don’t give up their money.

  19. Britney is Pathetic Says:

    Max, none of those passages pertain even remotely to the compassion Jesus has for any one group of people relative to another.

  20. giselle iniguez Says:

    Britney is crazy 4 shaving her hair.And what about her kids.She is only thinking about herself and what about other people.She was pretty when she had hair and is true.


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