As promised…

You’ve seen indignity #1 that I suffered as a consequence of losing my bet with Mike on Saturday’s game. And now, indignity #2.

To my fellow Trojans, I’m sorry. That said, believe me, this is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you.

. . . . .

Why UCLA is superior to USC
by Brendan and Becky Loy

How is the University of California at Los Angeles superior to the University of Southern California? Let me count the ways.

UCLA is better at sports. For example, the Bruins have won more team NCAA championships (99) than any other school. Also, as winners of 9 out of the last 16 football games against the Trojans, it is clearly more of a football school than USC. With regard to basketball, no explanation is needed.

UCLA is also better academically than USC — as a result of which, UCLA has more kids that got into USC than USC.

UCLA has better fans than USC. For example, Snoop Dogg is a USC fan.

O.J. Simpson did not go to UCLA.

UCLA has a nicer campus than USC, and is in a better location than USC (Westwood v. South Central LA). Again, no explanation is needed.

Speaking of Westwood, Diddy Riese Cookies makes the world’s best cookies. USC does not have a Diddy Riese Cookies in its neighborhood.

UCLA has a better daily newspaper than USC. One reason for this is that the editor-in-chief of the UCLA daily newspaper was not recently fired by a university administrator who shares a name with a freaky pop star who likes little boys.

Unlike USC players, UCLA football players do not perform sexual acts on their opponents after getting knocked down.

Unlike USC cheerleaders, UCLA cheerleaders do not cheer when their opponent scores.

UCLA’s band knows more than one song.

UCLA students do not wear black Velcro shoes and black socks.

Spike Lee’s movie about Hurricane Katrina did not feature a goofy-looking red-headed dork wearing a garish UCLA sweatshirt.

UCLA students are better at making NCAA brackets than USC students.

UCLA has Mike Tran. USC has Brendan Loy. ‘Nuff said.

This list is not exhaustive, as it would be impossible to list all of the ways in which UCLA is superior to USC.

. . . . .

There you go. Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t welch on bets.

“Thanks” to Mike Tran for his “help” in compiling this list.

I hate myself.

41 Responses to “As promised…”

  1. Brendan Loy says:

    I hate UCLA, Mike Tran, and myself.

    :)

    Beat the Wolverines.

  2. Lisa says:

    Hahahahahahaha

  3. Melissa says:

    For more reasons why UCLA is superior to USC, please visit:

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=UCLA

  4. Melissa says:

    FYI: The above site has a healthy debate on the merits of both institutions

  5. Melissa says:

    I particularly enjoy this quote from the daily bruin:

    “What the Bruins did right was put a defensive scheme together that dominated the Trojan offense in a way that no team in the country has been able to do in the last six years.”

    It gives much deserved respect to both teams.

  6. Brendan Loy says:

    Agreed.

    I mean, holy crap. USC had scored 20+ points for, what was it, 63 straight games, I think. And then UCLA holds us to NINE??? Amazing.

  7. JT says:

    You forgot – UCLA alums always “man up”

  8. Angrier and Angrier says:

    You forgot that UCLA didn’t have a world famous wife killer as its Running Back in the 60s, like USC did, and that UCLA doesn’t share its mascot with a condom company, like USC does.

  9. Brendan Loy says:

    JT, heh.

    Angrier, I didn’t forget, O.J. is in there. Didn’t think about the Trojan one, though.

  10. David K. says:

    Brendan you are an honorable man. And now you need to scrub your hands til they bleed, because after typing this they are tainted….

  11. Tbone says:

    Okay – this is easily the funniest damn post on The Irosh Trojan blog ever…

  12. Angrier and Angrier says:

    Brendan-

    My mistake.

  13. FRED CATCHER says:

    USC HALL OF SHAME 1.CHARLES COCAINE WHITE 2.DAVID SANCHEZ DATE RAPE 3.OJ SIMPSON MURDER 4.RAY MALUGA ASSULT AND BATTERY 5.REGGIE BUSh (TAKING MONEY FROM CORRUPT AGENT. 6.WINSTON JUSTICE HAND GUN AT A 2005 PARTY9TURNED OUT TO BE FAKE 6. MAROJUANIVICH AKA DOPE SMOKER LOSER. 7.WAYNE JARRET FREE RENT AT A APARTMENT UNTIL HE GOT CAUGHT, RENT WHAT RENT. 8.

  14. Brendan Loy says:

    David Sanchez? Wayne Jarret? Heh.

  15. Ricardo says:

    Brendan, what reference are you using when you state that UCLA is academically better than USC. For 2007, US News and World Report ranked UCLA 26th and USC 27th. The unweighted GPA and SAT scores for admitted students in 2006 for UCLA is 3.8 and 2006 and for USC is 3.8 and 2054. As far as these rankings go, both schools seem to be roughly equivalent.

  16. Angrier and Angrier says:

    Another way UCLA is better than USC. It will be getting a brand new coach next year.

  17. Brendan Loy says:

    Ricardo, I don’t actually believe that UCLA is academically better, any more than I believe that it’s a “more of a football school than USC” (ha!). This post is the result of a bet, not an expression of my true feelings.

    You want to know what I actually think? I think USC and UCLA are roughly equal academically. See here.

  18. Brendan Loy says:

    How do you figure, Angrier? You don’t think Dorrell saved his job on Saturday?

    Paul Hackett saved his job by ending the Trojans’ eight-game losing streak to UCLA in 1999, despite having an awful season… and that game wasn’t nearly as big of a deal, nationally, as this one. I would assume Dorrell is off the hot seat for the year.

  19. Angrier and Angrier says:

    It’s a joke.

  20. Brendan "Emily Litella" Loy says:

    Oh.

    Nevermind.

  21. GR says:

    Brendan

    I feel that backing away from your post about UCLA being a superior academic institution in your comments is not keeping with the spirit of the bet,

    if you are able to explain your actual opinion in the comments that takes away from the post

  22. SL says:

    I agree with GR. You should be required to stick by your word that UCLA is a finer academic institution.

  23. DrawingDead says:

    That’s a pretty darn compelling list. I’m convinced.

  24. Brendan Loy says:

    GR, I am following the letter of the law. I did not receive consideration for saying that UCLA is superior to USC in comments. :)

  25. Brendan Loy says:

    P.S. On a more serious note (not that this is a serious issue), when we made that bet and I initially balked at the concept of potentially writing a blog post containing opinions that I believe to be false, Mike said I could say in the post that it was a bet.

  26. kcatnd says:

    props to you for being a good sport

  27. Ed (sfv) says:

    The best part for me will be my first view of the powder blue Victory Bell.

    At the ND game, I asked the SC dude who was ringing the damn thing what happens if UCLA wins, and he said he it would never happen.

    Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding.

  28. SL says:

    He said that you could mention that it was a bet…he didn’t say that you could deny anything in the main post. But that aside, Notre Dame is clearly a finer academic institution than either of the godless heathen institutions of USC or UCLA.

  29. uscroger says:

    LOL, Brendan.

    The best, yet: “UCLA has Mike Tran. USC has Brendan Loy. ‘Nuff said.”

    Nuff said.

  30. Casey says:

    Oh, the pain! The pain of it all…..

    If only there were some magical elixir that one could drink to rid oneself of such memories… Some sort of delicious, cold frosty pint of something, perhaps from Ireland, made from a blessed spring, possessing the power to cure all ills….

    Excuse me.

  31. Alasdair says:

    Casey, you were doing fine until you got to “made from a blessed spring” which completely ruled out “Liffey mud” – the prime indregient of Guinness !

    (grin)

  32. uclaroger says:

    You forgot Dominique Byrd stabbing a man in the face with a bottle in a St. Louis bar.

  33. Rebecca Loy says:

    Wait a minute. Why is this by Brendan and Becky Loy? LAME! LAME LAME LAME!

    I’ll give you a few reasons why UCLA doesn’t entirely suck. I did my EMS training there and they have a Coffee Leaf in Westwood which has delicious Chai Teas. And my sister met my brother-in-law while she was taking a grad course that met between SC and UCLA. And yes, those Diddy Riese cookies are amazing. Oh, and UCLA has a really nice library with incredibly helpful staff. I remember tromping over there a few times while I was writing a paper on their now-defunct Gender Identity Disorders clinic and Robert Stoller’s work. Interesting stuff and he has nearly 100 boxes of archived papers there. Fabulous libraries, sez I.

  34. Eason says:

    Brandon, I don’t even know who you are, but I have to say you’re a good sport for writing this. You are one of only a handful at SC, who I can say, aren’t sore losers and is willing to have a laugh about the game.

  35. Andrew says:

    Becky, did you get taser’d at the fUTLA library?

  36. Alasdair says:

    Becky – did you work at all with the UCLA EMT program, going out on any of their shifts ? Does the name Peter Dell mean anything to you ?

  37. Rebecca Loy says:

    Peter Dell? Hmmm. Nope. But I doubt I’d remember the name even I did know him. I did go on a few ride-alongs as part of the training.

  38. Alasdair says:

    He was the manager of the EMT program … just got his MD degree at UCSF, now in his residency …

  39. Big Ed says:

    You didn’t mention anything about the crips in your neighborhood.