Snakes on a Plane only made 15.2 million motherf***ing dollars at the box office over the weekend — or $13.8 million, depending on how you do the motherf***ing math — a disappointing result for a film that had been expected to make $25-30 million. “After all the Hollywood hype, New Line’s Snakes on a Plane flakes,” writes Nikki Finke. “It seems only the bloggers cared about this pic.”

Whatever. It was still motherf***ing awesome. :)

P.S. Inspired by Mad Max’s comment, I made this audio clip of Howard Motherf***in’ Dean. WARNING: Profanity! Enjoy:

MP3 File

Hehe.

(If you’ve been living in a box and don’t understand why I keep saying “motherf***ing,” click here. Again, a profanity warning applies. Duh.)

P.P.S. For those who are unfamiliar with the back story — which I wasn’t, entirely, until just yesterday — the “motherf***ing snakes” line was not originally in the movie. It was added in response to fan demand, specifically blogospheric demand. According to the Hollywood Reporter:

Chris Rohan of Bethesda, Md., created an elaborate, R-rated audio trailer that lovingly mocks the title and movie. “It’s a genius title,” Rohan said. “It’s so stupid it’s great. It invites satire, but it’s something you just love. It’s something I can’t explain. You either get it or you don’t.”

The audio bit uses a Jackson sound-alike shouting, “I want these motherf***ing snakes off the motherf***ing plane!” Soon, the growing legion of fans added their voices as they demanded that that phrase also appear in the movie.

Apparently, the studio got the hint. When Ellis assembled Jackson and others for the recent shoot, the filmmakers added more gore, more death, more nudity, more snakes and more death scenes. And they shot a scene where Jackson does utter the line that fans have demanded.

Those involved with the film said the reshoots weren’t prompted by fans but rather by the existing footage that already was a hairline into R territory. Within the studio, the thinking was, “We’re already going to get an R, why not go all the way?” But the filmmakers do concede that the Jackson line will be in the movie for the sake of the fans.

Clearly, this belongs right near the top of the blogosphere’s historic list of triumphs. Removed Trent Lott from power, check. Exposed Dan Rather as a partisan hack, check. Got Samuel L. Jackson to say “motherf***ing snakes on this motherf***ing plane,” check. :)

More here.

[NOTE: This post was originally published at 6:39 PM on Aug. 20; it was bumped up so that more people can listen to my genius Dean clip. :) -ed.]

With war games underway and August 22 just two days away, attention turns to Iran (and maybe, God forbid, Jerusalem). Apropos of which, check out Casey’s excellent commentary about the possibilities that confont us (followed, of course, by a predictable bit of lunacy from Marshall in comments).

I have no idea what is going to happen with Iran, but I don’t see how this situation can possibly end well. For now, I’m just crossing my fingers that the world makes it through Tuesday unscathed.

[NOTE: This post was originally published at 5:13 PM on Aug. 20; it was bumped up to foster more discussion. -ed.]

Just a reminder: the Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner is tonight at 10pm EDT (9pm CDT) on Comedy Central.

I’ll…   be…   watching.

P.S. Speaking of Comedy Central: once upon a time, they aired a hilarious stand-up routine making fun of various things — including a) genetic engineering to make animals bigger or smaller than they should be; and b) snotty people with tiny, handbag-sized dogs like Paris Hilton’s — and the comic proposed that the next logical step in these two evolving phenomena was miniaturized, pocket-size bears, so that a snob at a dinner party could pull the bear out of his pocket and say, “Look at my bear!” It might not sound terribly funny when I try to retell it, but trust me, it was hilarious. :) Becky and I saw it several times, and we were in stitches. Okay, so maybe we’re just strange. ;) Anyway, the point is… has anyone else seen this stand-up routine? And if so, do you remember the name of the comic, or have any hints that might help me try to figure it out? It’s driving me NUTS!

UPDATE: Not as funny as the Pam Anderson roast, but it had its moments. See for yourself here.

The world from 12000 feet!

It’s August 20, and we’ve only had three tropical storms and no hurricanes in the Atlantic. Moreover, we’re now in “the quietest stretch in August since a three week period without storms in 2002,” according to Charles Fenwick. But for those who are seizing on the relative quiet in the tropics to raise doubts about the official predictions of an above-average season, Dr. Jeff Masters’s August 16 post is a must-read. Excerpt:

What a difference a year makes! By this date in 2005, we were already up to Hurricane Irene, the 9th named storm of the season. Of those nine, four were hurricanes, and two (Dennis and Emily) were record-breaking Category 4 and 5 hurricanes. However, before we congratulate ourselves too much on a safe start to hurricane season, it is instructive to look at the plot of typical hurricane activity for the Atlantic. Peak hurricane season starts about August 18 and runs through October 18. The worst part of hurricane season is in front of us, and I do anticipate that conditions will get active. Witness 1998, when only one named storm occurred prior to August 19, and 10 named storms and 7 hurricanes formed by the end of September. A similar pattern of activity occurred in 2000, with only two named storm by this date, and a season total of 15 named storms. So, those of you who doubt NOAA and Dr. Gray’s predictions of 15 named storms this season need to put your skepticism on hold.

A major shift in the atmospheric pattern over the Atlantic began at the end of July, and portends an active hurricane season. June and July were characterized by a much stronger than normal Bermuda High, with surface pressures up to 7 mb higher than normal over the Atlantic. Taking a look at the surface pressures the past ten days, we see that surface pressures are now up to 7 mb lower than normal over much of the Atlantic, a complete reversal of the situation in June and July. Lower surface pressures are more conducive for hurricane formation, and drive weaker trade winds. Weaker trade winds mean less evaporative cooling of the ocean, allowing the ocean to heat up more than usual. …

The relatively quiet hurricane season we’ve been enjoying is not going to last. A very active period will start, as soon as the atmosphere destabilizes a bit more. If one believes the long-range 2-week outlook from the GFS model, the current quiet period should last another 4-12 days. Around August 21, I expect it will appear that a switch has been thrown, and the Atlantic will be very active indeed. Expect our first hurricane in the Atlantic by August 26, and a very active September. However, I do expect we will get many recurving storms that will miss land, and that this hurricane season will be similar to the ones we experienced in 1995-2003.

Nothing yet, though. In his most recent post, Dr. Masters says: “Wind shear across most of the tropical Atlantic is forecast to drop to very low levels beginning Wednesday, and I expect we’ll have at least one tropical storm developing by the end of the week.” Fenwick, on the other hand, says, “it is likely that the quiet times in the Atlantic will persist through next week.”

Fenwick also points out that Tropical Storm Ioke formed south of Hawaii this morning, and is the first tropical cyclone to form in the Central Pacific basin since Huko in 2002. It is no threat to land.

Ouch:

Anyone who knows what legal analysis and legal argument look like — anyone who knows the requisites of legal reasoning — must look on the handiwork of Judge Anna Diggs Taylor in the NSA case in amazement. It is a pathetic piece of work. If it had been submitted by a student in my second year legal writing class at the University of St. Thomas Law School, it would have earned a failing grade.

What’s even more entertaining is that the New York Times editorial board called this universally panned ruling “a careful, thoroughly grounded opinion” that “eviscerated” the administration’s arguments. Heh. I guess the Times editorialists would fail legal writing, too. Not that I’m surprised.

(Hat tip: WILLisms, via Viking Pundit.)

Matt Leinart gets “by and large, a thumbs up” for his NFL preseason debut yesterday against the Patriots.

Fark: “Magnitude 7.2 earthquake strikes south pole. Sketchy reports indicate that millions of penguins may have tipped over.”

Time magazine reports:

Should Hillary run? Could Hillary win? Is this a dynasty in the making? Is a Clinton candidacy good for the republic? Normally, those would be questions that only political consultants would be asking at this stage, but given the outsize status of both Clintons, ordinary voters are already wondering the same thing. Hillary would step into the race as the instant front runner, but the risks would be enormous. It is hard to imagine a greater vindication than seeing the second President ever impeached hold the Bible as his wife takes the oath of office. But if Hillary ran and lost, both Clintons would come out tarnished—no small consideration when a promising Senate career and a presidential legacy are in the balance. So sensitive is the question of Hillary’s future that both Clintons refused to let Time interview them about it, and they discouraged those around them from talking, which explains why nearly all the people who did talk did so on the condition that their name not be used.

What they say is that 2008 is closer than it looks on your calendar. Whereas her husband could wait until just four months before the first caucus to make his announcement, a front-loaded presidential primary-and-caucus schedule and a growing field of contenders don’t give Hillary that luxury. Her strategists tell Time they are urging her to make her intentions clear by next spring—by forming an exploratory committee, for instance—to lock up fund-raising and political talent. Those close enough to know say that she is genuinely undecided but that Bill is not disguising his eagerness to see her make a bid for his old job. “He thinks that she should run, and he’s going to do everything possible to help her,” says Texas insurance mogul and philanthropist Bernard Rapoport, a longtime Clinton friend and backer.

The best line of the article? “Being at Bill’s side can seem like standing next to a nuclear blast.” Heh. Read the whole thing.

P.S. This is interesting, too:

So solid is her standing [in the Senate] that some who are close to Hillary tell Time they believe she will in the end forgo a presidential race and set her sights on rising within the Senate leadership, toward the possibility of becoming the first woman majority leader someday.

Color me skeptical, but: we link, you decide.

You give the netroots an inch, they take the whole party. In response to John Kerry blasting Joe Lieberman on This Week with George Stephanopoulos (in a transparent — and successful — attempt to appeal to the netroots), a Kos contributor writes in a post on the homepage: “Let’s hope all 2008 hopefuls jump on the bandwagon and begin to realize that cutting Joe off is one non-negotiable requirement to nomination.”

Mark my words, the temper tantrums and “non-negotiable requirements” of the Kos wing of the Democratic Party will, if they are adhered to, send the 2008 nominee down to a crushing defeat faster than you can say “Walter Mondale.” I realize that a majority of the country is against the war in Iraq, but it isn’t just about Iraq, it’s about a whole radical mindset that infects the far left which is now flexing its muscles and trying to assert total dominance over the party. The biggest mistake the Kos Kidz can make — and are now making — is to believe that because 60% or whatever of the public is now antiwar, that means 60% of the public is on the left-wing bandwagon. Nothing could be further from the truth. The more the true colors of the lefties are exposed — particularly their cynical, conspiratorial view of the war on terror, the American government, and politics and society in general — the more moderates will decide that the Republicans are the less scary of the two evils.

MP3 File

Leaving Corby's, en route to the Backer. It's official: the school year has begun. :)