Mumps epidemic, Iowa epicenter

Mumps. Look into them, they’re the Next Big Thing. :>

ATLANTA (April 13) – Two infected airline passengers may have helped spread Iowa’s mumps epidemic to six other Midwestern states, health officials said Wednesday, the latest example of how quickly disease can spread through air travel.

…As of Monday, Nebraska has 43 reported cases; Kansas, 33; Illinois, four; Missouri, four; Wisconsin, four; and Minnesota, one.

…The first traveler is executive director of a Waterloo, Iowa, downtown development organization who in late March was in a delegation that traveled to Washington, D.C.

The woman, Terry Poe Buschkamp, had earlier visited the Dominican Republic where she thinks she may have caught the bug…

…On March 26, she flew to Washington, D.C.’s Reagan National Airport. During her visit, she shook hands with Iowa’s two U.S. senators, Tom Harkin and Charles Grassley, she said.

…During those six days, she had been to church and numerous work events, including an April 1 pub crawl that involved about 370 people…

…The second person was a young man returning from vacation in Arizona on April 1, Teale said.

…Mumps is a virus-caused illness spread by coughing and sneezing. The most common symptoms are fever, headache and swollen salivary glands under the jaw. But it can lead to more severe problems, such as hearing loss, meningitis and fertility-diminishing swollen testicles.

No deaths have been reported from the current epidemic.

But what I wanna know is, was Ms. Buschkamp’s pub crawl a Work event or a Church event? :) And, were Harkin & Grassley crawling along with her then, too? :>

I am not buying for a minute this Dominican Republic business. These will prove to be the dread Supermumps, released into the Environment by the notorious Misanthropocentric Biogenocidal Madman Dr. Eric R. Pianka after he’d got done Weaponizing the bugger so’s it will not only swell testicles fair to Bursting but Shrivel ovaries down to a veritable Singularity as well. Yes, courtesy of yer man the U. Texas Master of Massacre, the human race soon mumps to its Conclusion. Fie. :>

Read the whole thing. :)

10 Responses to “Mumps epidemic, Iowa epicenter”

  1. jar jar blinks says:

    swollen testicles!!?!?!? quarantine! quarantine! QUARANTINE!!

  2. Alasdair says:

    Mumps, now !

    “Oh, swell !”, thought his glands !

    Ummm … how many rational people do *you* know who have not been immunised against mumps ?

    I’ll admit that the 43 in Nebraska and the 33 in Kansas are a tad surprising, tho … the vaccine has historically been one of the more effective ones …

    And I would be very interested in seeing what sort of statistical correlation there might be between catching mumps and having 1 or more pairs of Birkenstocks in the house ?

  3. jar jar blinks says:

    yeah but dude, swollen testicles?!? it’s time to close down the airlines, and blockade the roads. we’re not taking any chances here. we’re talking about my balls dude, my balls…

  4. Joe Loy says:

    “Oh, swell !â€?…

    Waw haw! (In Scotland how could they Tell, right Laird A.? :)

  5. Brendan Loy says:

    LOL jar jar

  6. Joe Loy says:

    Years back I heard that great American G. Gordon Liddy ;> talking on his radio program, very straightfacedly (assuming one can Hear a Straight Face :) with no wisecracking whatsoever, about his having undergone Testicular Reduction Surgery. :> I don’t think it was Mumps, though. Seems they were just Too Big. That’s what The G-Man said anyway. :] Said the condition painfully hindered his Walking. / Better he should’ve Hobbled groaningly away in the opposite direction from The Watergate. ;>

  7. jar jar blinks says:

    some guys have all the luck, next week i’m going in for my testicular enlargement/alchemetics surgery, um, you know, not cause my balls are small or anything, but like, you know, they could always be bigger, and gold.

  8. Alasdair says:

    I can see the novelisation of Mr Blinks’ experiences …

    Jar Jar and the Philosopher’s Stones

    or, as simplified for the US market …

    Jar Jar and the Sorceror’s Stones, dude

  9. ScottF says:

    LOL jar jar. You made me think of the Nut Sack album by Rodney Carrington.

    At one point he asks god why he couldn’t have made it velvety and purple like a Crown Royal bag. :-)

  10. Bob says:

    Thank you for being responsible and for mentioning the fact that mumps attacks the testicles of males who are past puberty. I wish the major media were more responsible and less puritanical in this regard. I had the disease when I was thirteen and had no idea what was happening to me when my testicles were attacked, or even that this symptom was related to mumps. (I ignorantly thought that this symptom was somehow related to masturbation, which to my uptight parents was a no-no.) As a consequence, I kept quiet until the pain was so unbearable, I could hardly walk. One of my testicles was half eaten away by this serious illness. Males who experience this symptom need to 1) notify their doctors immediately and 2) keep to their beds and try not to move. Trust me, this aspect of mumps needs to be widely and openly circulated.