More Americans can name the members of Homer Simpson’s family than can name the rights guaranteed by the First Amendment, according to a Freedom Museum study. (Hat tip: A Nun Mouse.) Well, duh… The Simpsons is way more important! :)

Sad to say, Dmytro “Pain from Ukraine” Aponte was eliminated from the Bengal Bouts last night in a split decision. (I blame Ed Hightower.)

However, two 3Ls, Brian Nicholson and Billy Hederman, are still alive, and advancing on to the semifinals, which begin at 6:30 on Thursday.

A Chicago firm estimates that employers around the country will lose $3.8 billion in productivity this month because of the NCAA Tournament. They say that like it’s a bad thing. :)

Best Supporting Actress nominee Michelle Williams’s high school is ashamed of her because she was involved in “Brokeback Mountain.” (It’s a Christian high school.) Man, that’s stupid.

It’s Mardi Gras night (well, morning now), and women in New Orleans are showing Anderson Cooper their boobies.

I’m not sure if he’s interested, ladies… :)

P.S. Wonkette notes a typo in Cooper’s boobieful dispatch, and says, “That’s okay, Anderson, we understand. We never figured you for a breast guy!” Heh.

Heh:

The National Weather Service announced Friday that, in response to the increasing number of hurricanes, it is revising its naming system. “The hundreds of hurricanes we expect in the North Atlantic in 2006 will receive both proper and surnames,” Max Mayfield of the weather service said. “In fact, tropical storms Alberto Fergus, Beverly Stenwick-Brown, and Chris Stubbs Jr. have already received names under the new system.” After all possible first and last names are exhausted, storms will be given titles, beginning with Hurricane Assistant Accounts Manager Alexander Epps, CPA.

Hehe. That’s from The Onion, of course… as is this:

In a press conference on the steps of the Capitol Monday, Congressional Democrats announced that, despite the scandals plaguing the Republican Party and widespread calls for change in Washington, their party will remain true to its hopeless direction.

“We are entirely capable of bungling this opportunity to regain control of the House and Senate and the trust of the American people,” Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said to scattered applause. “It will take some doing, but we’re in this for the long and pointless haul.”

LOL!

P.S. Also: Kobe Bryant Named As 2008 Olympic Basketball Team. :)

An Iowa woman faked her death to avoid paying parking tickets. Heh.

P.S. In other news out of the “random local stories from miscellaneous parts of the country” file, there’s a giant sinkhole in Waco, Texas — and no, I’m not talking about Baylor Law School (j/k Chris!). Apparently it’s become something of a tourist attraction:

Among those eyeing the chasm were 46-year-old Mark Leazar and his 10-year-old son, Kyle.

“I saw it in the paper and my son decided he wanted to see it,” Leazar said, looking at the cave-in, about 15 feet deep and at least that wide where part of University-Parks Drive used to be. “That’s one heck of a sinkhole.”

I totally would have done the same thing when I was ten. “Daaaad! Can we go see the sinkhole? Daaaad!” Heh. Kyle Leazar, you have a bright, nerdy future ahead of you. :)

P.P.S. Who am I kidding? “When I was ten”… bah. I’d do the same thing now! The only difference is, I’d be saying, “Beckyyyy! Can we go see the sinkhole? Beckyyyy!” :) And of course, I’d take a picture of it, and blog it.

My favorite month begins… :)

In the biggest stunner since George W. Bush won Wyoming, Adam Morrison has been named the WCC Player of the Year. :) J.P. Batista joins Señor ‘Stache on the all-conference first team, and Mark Few is Coach of the Year for the sixth straight season. (Not too big on “spreading the wealth” out there, are they?)

While those awards are not remotely surprising, Batista was very surprised when his brother, who lives in Brazil, showed up on Senior Night Sunday. Sounds like it was quite a moment.

Sean Mallon was named to the all-academic first team, and several Gonzaga women’s basketball players were also honored; click here for more on that. (The Lady Zags tied Santa Clara for the conference title.)

Oh… on the subject of Morrison, he’s now opened up a 0.8-point lead over Duke’s J.J. Redick in the battle for the national scoring title. The dynamic duo are featured on the cover of SI this week, which makes you wonder if they’ll suffer the SI curse; hopefully it hits Redick rather than Morrison. :) The Seattle Times has more on the Redick-Morrison debate.

Another statistical category in which Morrison and Redick are among the nation’s best is the number of free throws made. Morrison, again, has the edge (Caleb Green of Oral Roberts is ahead of them both), although Redick has a better percentage (a category where Derek Raivio is Gonzaga’s best). The team statistic for FTs made is also a Duke-Gonzaga battle, and they’re both in the top five in percentage as well.

With all the statistical talk about the Morrison-Redick scoring race, Ken Pomeroy notes that the rebounding title is also very much up for grabs — and a Connecticutian is involved! Paul Millsap of Louisiana Tech leads Kenny Adeleke of Hartford, 13.069 to 13.037. “Conference tournaments will decide this one,” Pomeroy writes. GO, KENNY, GO!

This really belongs on the Internet’s #1 blog for Bode Miller Sucks news, but I don’t know if Casey watches Late Night, so… anyway, this is from Conan O’Brien:

“Bode Miller said he has no regrets about the Olympics because he’s ‘not the kind of person who looks back.’ Yeah. And if you watched him skiing in the Olympics, you know he’s also not the kind of person who looks forward.”

Heh.