I just created an Excel spreadsheet to calculate the 32 possible scenarios stemming from the five remaining regular-season games involving the six contenders for the final three spots in the Big East tournament, and Johnny Mac is right: if Notre Dame beats DePaul on Saturday, we’re in, no matter what else happens. In all of the possible tiebreakers, we would do well enough to finish at least 12th in the conference. So, beat DePaul, and we’re going to New York. On the other hand, if Notre Dame loses to DePaul, we’re out, no matter what else happens. So the Irish’s fate is in their own hands.

GOOOO IRISH, BEEEEAT DEMONS!

P.S. So basically, we face five consecutive elimination games. Win ‘em all, and we’re in the NCAA Tournament. Win eleven straight games, and we’re national champs! :)

Duke loses… Notre Dame wins… Texas loses… what a day! :)

The Irish just wrapped up a very big win on the road. Now they have to beat DePaul at home next weekend, and hope everything else falls into place in the Big East just the way they want it to, so they can finish in the Top 12 in conference (oh, the lofty goals of the Mike Brey era).

Oddly enough, the Irish (5-10 in conference) — who are 2-0 against Providence on the season — now need to hope that the Friars (also 5-10) win their next game (against Marquette) so that Providence will be one of the teams tied with Notre Dame at 6-10 if the Irish beat DePaul. Why? Because in the “mini-conference” tiebreaker, having a 2-0 record against one of the tied teams really helps.

CORRECTION: Notre Dame doesn’t need any help to get into the Big East tournament. Win and they’re in.

There will be no undefeated ACC season for the Blue Devils. Florida State 79, #1 Duke 74, final. The Seminoles, who nearly beat Duke at Cameron Indoor Stadium in a game that the referees decided earlier in the season, got the win tonight on their home floor on Senior Night. Woohoo! Duke sucks! :)

The end of the game was ridiculously crazy. In the final seconds, with Florida State up by 5 points, J.J. Redick missed a shot, FSU’s Al Thornton got the rebound and was fouled by Duke’s Greg Paulus to stop the clock with 1.7 seconds left. Notwithstanding that there was still time left on the clock, the Florida State students rushed the court!! And then came my favorite part, though it didn’t get mentioned on ESPN amid the craziness: the scoreboard operator, who had correctly stopped the clock at 1.7 seconds, randomly restarted it and ran it to 0:00!! LOL!! Gotta love the home cookin’.

The officials weren’t buying it, though; they ordered the clock reset to 1.7 seconds and called a technical foul on FSU for the court-rushing shenanigans. (The Seminole coach later conceded that this was the correct call.) Redick hit both free throws, cutting the lead to 3, but Thornton still had his free throws to shoot for FSU. Coach K actually ordered his bench players (including Redick and the fouled-out Shelden Williams) off the court at this point, before FSU’s free throws, for safety reasons due to the crowd situation. In a surreal scene, the Blue Devil players were shaking hands with everyone on the Seminole bench as they went, notwithstanding that the game wasn’t over yet, and Duke could still theoretically have won. But Thornton staved off any thoughts of a Duke miracle by hitting both free throws, and the Seminoles won by 5 — and the crowd rushed the court again.

Throughout the whole fiasco, ESPN’s announcers were pretty harsh in their criticism of Florida State’s crowd control, for obvious reasons. Personally, I thought the whole thing definitely made the game even more entertaining… but I suppose I wouldn’t have wanted to be in those fans’ path, either. :)

Alas, I suspect this loss will actually help Duke refocus. I think it’s sometimes hard to get college kids motivated just by saying, “That was a closer game than it should have been.” But now that they’ve lost to the Seminole, it won’t be remotely difficult for Coach K to gets his kids to work harder in practice in preparation for the ACC and NCAA tournaments. Part of me wishes Gonzaga had also lost one of its close games, for similar reasons. (I said part of me. :)

Notre Dame is leading Providence by 4 at halftime. The Irish must win, or they can pretty much kiss their Big East tournament hopes goodbye. (A loss might knock them off the NIT bubble, too.)

In a related story, Notre Dame alum John Chute has a letter to the editor in today’s Observer which explains brilliantly exactly why Mike Brey needs to be fired. Here’s the money paragraph, which points out many of the precise problems that Becky and I have noticed, and also effectively rebuts — in wonderfully sarcastic fashion — the fallacious counterargument, so often heard from defenders of Brey and other bad coaches, that people who aren’t players or coaches have no right to criticize the coach because they don’t know what they’re talking about:

Since I am not a professional basketball coach or player, I do not suggest that my two varsity letters in high school basketball qualify me to pass judgments on the coaching acumen of Notre Dame’s exceedingly well-compensated and well-connected head coach. For example, I am willing to admit that what appears to me to be a highly unconventional strategy of complete abandonment of a low post game, coupled with an alternative strategy of “have two guards dribble it around with no other motion or off-the-ball screening and then chuck up a three-ball from 35-feet with one second left on the shot clock and two hands in your face,” is a potentially more cutting-edge, sophisticated, winning strategy than the tried-and-true approach of feeding the low post for two to four-foot buckets or a foul shot every other time down the floor. I will also admit that it may be incredibly innovative to take the rarely pursued approach of recruiting only two college-caliber big men during six years as coach and combine that with a complete lack of attention to teaching those players how to play the low post so as to ensure no semblance of an inside game as an option for your offense for three straight seasons. Lastly, it may be the veritable future of the sport to state as your goal “if they shoot 48 percent, we’re gonna try to shoot 55 percent because that is who we are,” and combine that with the rarely-employed defensive philosophy that consists of “stand flat-footed, keep your hands at your side, play as passively as possible, never jump out on high screens even when we are ahead by three points with two seconds left in the game and never, ever, box out as if you intend to actually obtain the rebound.” These may be the mandates of a true visionary, and it is not for me to suggest that other programs, for example, Indiana and Duke, which have combined for seven national championships via total commitment to defense and fundamentals, know any better than the current Notre Dame coaches as to how to achieve success on the court.

Heh.

“The last time I checked, the men’s basketball coaching position at Notre Dame was indeed a ‘job,’ not a volunteer camp counselor position,” Chute adds. “In fact, I suspect it ranks as one of the most highly-compensated positions at the University. As such, there should be fundamental standards and milestones which are required to be met.” He concludes that “Notre Dame needs a basketball coach and athletic director who, recognizing Notre Dame’s own legacy in men’s basketball, will commit to bring the Irish back to the top of the rankings, not to a seat on the annual bubble.”

(Hat tip: Kristin.)

More Americans can name the members of Homer Simpson’s family than can name the rights guaranteed by the First Amendment, according to a Freedom Museum study. (Hat tip: A Nun Mouse.) Well, duh… The Simpsons is way more important! :)

Sad to say, Dmytro “Pain from Ukraine” Aponte was eliminated from the Bengal Bouts last night in a split decision. (I blame Ed Hightower.)

However, two 3Ls, Brian Nicholson and Billy Hederman, are still alive, and advancing on to the semifinals, which begin at 6:30 on Thursday.

A Chicago firm estimates that employers around the country will lose $3.8 billion in productivity this month because of the NCAA Tournament. They say that like it’s a bad thing. :)

Best Supporting Actress nominee Michelle Williams’s high school is ashamed of her because she was involved in “Brokeback Mountain.” (It’s a Christian high school.) Man, that’s stupid.

It’s Mardi Gras night (well, morning now), and women in New Orleans are showing Anderson Cooper their boobies.

I’m not sure if he’s interested, ladies… :)

P.S. Wonkette notes a typo in Cooper’s boobieful dispatch, and says, “That’s okay, Anderson, we understand. We never figured you for a breast guy!” Heh.

Heh:

The National Weather Service announced Friday that, in response to the increasing number of hurricanes, it is revising its naming system. “The hundreds of hurricanes we expect in the North Atlantic in 2006 will receive both proper and surnames,” Max Mayfield of the weather service said. “In fact, tropical storms Alberto Fergus, Beverly Stenwick-Brown, and Chris Stubbs Jr. have already received names under the new system.” After all possible first and last names are exhausted, storms will be given titles, beginning with Hurricane Assistant Accounts Manager Alexander Epps, CPA.

Hehe. That’s from The Onion, of course… as is this:

In a press conference on the steps of the Capitol Monday, Congressional Democrats announced that, despite the scandals plaguing the Republican Party and widespread calls for change in Washington, their party will remain true to its hopeless direction.

“We are entirely capable of bungling this opportunity to regain control of the House and Senate and the trust of the American people,” Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said to scattered applause. “It will take some doing, but we’re in this for the long and pointless haul.”

LOL!

P.S. Also: Kobe Bryant Named As 2008 Olympic Basketball Team. :)

An Iowa woman faked her death to avoid paying parking tickets. Heh.

P.S. In other news out of the “random local stories from miscellaneous parts of the country” file, there’s a giant sinkhole in Waco, Texas — and no, I’m not talking about Baylor Law School (j/k Chris!). Apparently it’s become something of a tourist attraction:

Among those eyeing the chasm were 46-year-old Mark Leazar and his 10-year-old son, Kyle.

“I saw it in the paper and my son decided he wanted to see it,” Leazar said, looking at the cave-in, about 15 feet deep and at least that wide where part of University-Parks Drive used to be. “That’s one heck of a sinkhole.”

I totally would have done the same thing when I was ten. “Daaaad! Can we go see the sinkhole? Daaaad!” Heh. Kyle Leazar, you have a bright, nerdy future ahead of you. :)

P.P.S. Who am I kidding? “When I was ten”… bah. I’d do the same thing now! The only difference is, I’d be saying, “Beckyyyy! Can we go see the sinkhole? Beckyyyy!” :) And of course, I’d take a picture of it, and blog it.

My favorite month begins… :)

In the biggest stunner since George W. Bush won Wyoming, Adam Morrison has been named the WCC Player of the Year. :) J.P. Batista joins Señor ‘Stache on the all-conference first team, and Mark Few is Coach of the Year for the sixth straight season. (Not too big on “spreading the wealth” out there, are they?)

While those awards are not remotely surprising, Batista was very surprised when his brother, who lives in Brazil, showed up on Senior Night Sunday. Sounds like it was quite a moment.

Sean Mallon was named to the all-academic first team, and several Gonzaga women’s basketball players were also honored; click here for more on that. (The Lady Zags tied Santa Clara for the conference title.)

Oh… on the subject of Morrison, he’s now opened up a 0.8-point lead over Duke’s J.J. Redick in the battle for the national scoring title. The dynamic duo are featured on the cover of SI this week, which makes you wonder if they’ll suffer the SI curse; hopefully it hits Redick rather than Morrison. :) The Seattle Times has more on the Redick-Morrison debate.

Another statistical category in which Morrison and Redick are among the nation’s best is the number of free throws made. Morrison, again, has the edge (Caleb Green of Oral Roberts is ahead of them both), although Redick has a better percentage (a category where Derek Raivio is Gonzaga’s best). The team statistic for FTs made is also a Duke-Gonzaga battle, and they’re both in the top five in percentage as well.

With all the statistical talk about the Morrison-Redick scoring race, Ken Pomeroy notes that the rebounding title is also very much up for grabs — and a Connecticutian is involved! Paul Millsap of Louisiana Tech leads Kenny Adeleke of Hartford, 13.069 to 13.037. “Conference tournaments will decide this one,” Pomeroy writes. GO, KENNY, GO!

This really belongs on the Internet’s #1 blog for Bode Miller Sucks news, but I don’t know if Casey watches Late Night, so… anyway, this is from Conan O’Brien:

“Bode Miller said he has no regrets about the Olympics because he’s ‘not the kind of person who looks back.’ Yeah. And if you watched him skiing in the Olympics, you know he’s also not the kind of person who looks forward.”

Heh.