“We are your basketball team, I am your basketball coach, and we are going to kick Florida’s ass!!!” –Tennessee head coach Bruce Pearl, addressing a crowd of cheering Vols fans before Saturday’s game

Osama bin Laden’s audiotape “endorsement” of a book written by a left-wing critic of U.S. foreign policy has caused the book to jump from #205,763 to #26 on the Amazon best-sellers list.

According to ScrappleFace, bin Laden explained that “this is the first step in our ultimate plan to crush the billionaire imperialist infidel Oprah Winfrey, Allah be praised, and to take the reins of power myself as America’s media darling.” Heh. More:

The book club represents phase one of the “establishment of the Islamic media caliphate” through Amasu Inc., Mr. bin Laden’s production company, which previously specialized in making audio recordings of his lectures that sound like vintage 1930s radio programs.

In the coming months, Amasu Inc. will launch a magazine called ‘U’ and distribute a new TV show to challenge Dr. Phil McGraw, whose TV career Oprah launched.

Dr. Zawahiri, the new program featuring Mr. bin Laden’s personal physician, Ayman al-Zawahiri, “will dish out relationship and health advice with a folksy, common sense approach that should endear him to America’s housewives.”

“It’s really about being the best you that you can be,” said Mr. Zawahiri in a news release, “I will school the infidel’s wife to overcome negative self-talk so that she can achieve a purpose-driven life in which she martyrs herself for the sake of jihad.”

LOL!

This reminds me… I keep meaning to link to this Top Ten list of Osama’s conditions for a truce:

1. US must withdraw troops from Afghanistan and Iraq.

2. US must cease all financial support for Israel.

3. George Bush must go on national television and apologize for crimes against Islam.

4. Bin Laden’s part in any future movie must be played by Christopher Walken.

5. “Family Guy” must be re-cancelled immediately as it is “no longer very funny”

6. Sharia law must be implemented in at least one American city, preferably Las Vegas.

7. U.S. must influence India to throw the world cricket championship to Pakistan

8. All inmates at Guantanamo must receive free iPod Nanos pre-loaded with entire Koran chanted by Dick Cheney

9. All Americans must grow a minimum 6-inch long beard, including the women.

10. NFL-style instant replay must be used in all future college bowl games.

Heh. (Hat tip: InstaPundit.)

It’s official: the last three undefeated teams in Division I men’s college basketball are undefeated no more. First #9 Pittsburgh lost to St. John’s, then #1 Duke lost to Georgetown, and now #2 Florida lost to Tennessee. (Although, the day’s most stunning upset still has to be #15 Wisconsin’s home loss to North Dakota State, a team in its first year in Division I. All three of the former unbeatens’ losses were on the road.)

The once-beaten UConn Huskies, presently ranked #3 in the country, will surely jump to #1 if they manage to win at Louisville this evening (notwithstanding that the Cardinals, with no quality wins and a 1-3 record in the Big East, have no business being ranked in the Top 25). If UConn loses, presumably #4 Memphis, which won at Southern Miss today, will vault to #1.

#6-ranked Gonzaga almost fell victim to the upset bug, but survived a scare against San Diego, 64-63, thanks to a three-pointer by Erroll Knight with 8 seconds left. Honestly, I’m not surprised the Toreros gave the Zags a close game. The WCC may be comparatively weak this year, but much like the USC football team during its winning streak, Gonzaga is going to get everybody’s “best shot” — they have a giant bullseye on their back in the conference. I’ll be pleasantly surprised if they make it through the WCC schedule undefeated.

P.S. Also, lest I forget, fUCLA lost. At home. Again. (The Bruins have lost 3 of their last 5 at Pauley Pavilion.) Admittedly, West Virginia is good. But UCLA looked like complete and utter crap in the first half.

I realize the Bruins’ loss to the Mountaineers is objectively bad for the Pac-10, but I can’t be sad about it. I just can’t. Indeed, I was cheering for WVU as I watched the game on CBS. Not only do I hate the Bruins, but Kevin Pittsnoggle and Mike Gansey are awesome! (And Pittsnoggle has the most fun-to-say sports name this side of Troy Van Blarcom.)

P.P.S. Previous post here. The title, written before any of the afternoon’s stunners had concluded, is “Upset Saturday?” Well, forget the question mark. What a day.

P.P.P.S. And opponents of a March Madness-style college-football playoff say the college-basketball season isn’t exciting. Bah! Humbug!

UPDATE: UConn survives Upset Saturday, 71-58 over Louisville, and will be ranked #1 in the next poll.

The AP reports:

Israel’s defense minister hinted Saturday that the Jewish state is preparing for military action to stop Iran’s nuclear program, but said international diplomacy must be the first course of action.

“Israel will not be able to accept an Iranian nuclear capability and it must have the capability to defend itself, with all that that implies, and this we are preparing,” Shaul Mofaz said.

Heh. (Hat tip: Becky, who has been on a roll yesterday and today with her Valkyrie blogging.)

The northern bottle-nosed whale who invaded London yesterday has died. (Hat tip: my dad.)

As the croc hunter would say, “it’s nature’s way” … but, for us silly anthropormorphizing humans, it’s still sad. :(

…The Backer!

(Alternative caption: “Is the camera blurry, or is it me?”)

This was during the “Piano Man” circle that Kristin referenced. Toward the end of the song, Chris wandered into the center of the circle, dancing and singing his heart out. Heh. ‘Twas funny.

North Dakota State is stunning #15 Wisconsin on Wisconsin’s home floor… undefeated, #9-ranked Pittsburgh is losing to unranked St. John’s… and, although it’s early, Georgetown is beating #1 Duke.

UPDATE: St. John’s wins 55-50, knocking Pitt from the ranks of the unbeatens!

UPDATE 2: And Wisconsin is stunned at home by the Bison of North Dakota State, 62-55! The Badgers’ 27-game home winning streak against non-conference opponents comes to an end in shocking fashion. Wisconsin is now 13-1 at home this season to complement its 1-3 road record.

Meanwhile, Georgetown, playing at home, leads Duke, 42-28 at halftime. That game is on CBS.

UPDATE 3: Duke goes down! Georgetown wins, 87-84. Duke sucks. :) Predictably, they’re happy over at Fark.

So the only remaining undefeated team is Florida, which has a tough game at Tennessee tonight.

UPDATE 4: You can take away the question mark from the title of this post. What a day. Florida lost, too.

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At the Backer. God bless the Backer. :) On the way over here, walking in moderately heavy snow, I saw and heard thundersnow for just the second time in my life!

Just got back from the LaFortune Student Center, where Becky and I watched on TV with a bunch of fellow Domers as the Notre Dame men lost to Marquette, 67-65.

What an annoying loss. I can’t complain about Marquette’s game-winning shot with 1.1 seconds left; it was very well-defended, and Steve Novak still somehow got it to fall in. Hats off to him. But the possession before that, when Notre Dame squandered its chance to take the lead, has me fuming.

My question for Mike Brey is: what the hell was the point of calling a timeout to set up a go-ahead play, if your big grand strategy was to do exactly what the Irish had been doing all night: taking an ill-advised, low-percentage three-point shot before even trying to get inside? (ND was 9-for-28 from three-point land.) And with like 15 seconds left on the shot clock, to boot! Argh! I realize hindsight is 20/20, and if the shot had happened to luckily fall in, I’d be happy, but the fact remains that it just doesn’t make sense to shoot a three in that situation, at least not without first trying some dribble penetration and then perhaps kicking it out to the perimeter. Argh. I’m seriously tempted to buy FireMikeBrey.com right now.

Notre Dame is now 1-4 in the Big East, and they haven’t even played UConn, West Virginia or Villanova yet. Three of their next four games are against ranked teams. At this point, I’d say the Irish will be lucky to make the NIT.

UPDATE: Becky has posted her thoughts on the game. As per usual, she is subtle and understated:

The end result makes me wonder what Brey was talking about during his timeout, because it certainly doesn’t seem to have been basketball. Perhaps he was asking for a comparison of Mylanta versus Pepto or musing about the outcome of the upcoming Canadian elections.

What is certain is that a homeless sumo wrestler with no legs and one eye could have coached a better game than Mike Brey.

Heh.

Heh:

University of Kentucky basketball fans have long wanted payback for Christian Laettner’s last-second shot that clinched Duke’s 104-103 overtime win in the 1992 NCAA East Regional.

A Lexington bank wants payback, too — for a $375,000 loan. [The bank] is suing Laettner in Fayette Circuit Court, claiming he defaulted on the loan, made in November at a Lexington branch, by failing to make a payment.

(Hat tip: Fark.)

Spike Lee is probably flying me to New York City next weekend to interview me for his Hurricane Katrina movie… so this news has me a bit concerned.

The website was down this morning for nearly three hours, from 8:35 AM until 11:17 AM, due to a server issue. Apologies to anyone whose morning blog-reading routine was disrupted. :)

No, really! A northern bottle-nosed whale “has made its way up the River Thames to central London, where it is being watched by riverside crowds,” according to the BBC. It “has passed Parliament and is moving upstream.” Heh. (January 20 isn’t some sort of British April Fools Day, is it?)