Have politics in this country really gotten so divisive that we can’t even laugh at ourselves anymore? Apparently so. The Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation has decided not to invite Bush or Kerry to this year’s Al Smith Dinner, at which the presidential candidates traditionally make fun of themselves and each other in a light-hearted manner just weeks before the election, because “issues in this year’s campaign could provoke divisiveness and disagreement and could detract from [the] spirit” of the event, namely “bring people together.”

Apparently, it was specifically the issues revolving around Kerry’s pro-choice Catholicism that caused the Smith Foundation, which is a Catholic organization, to break with tradition and keep the candidates away.

I really think this is a shame. The Smith Dinner is one of my favorite American political traditions, because it proves that our political opponents are just that, opponents, and not enemies. I think it’s a grand tribute to our democracy that the two candidates for president can appear together at the same event just weeks before the election and crack jokes. But, alas, not this year.

You may recall some of the funny Al Smith Dinner lines from 2000:

Gore:

“This dinner represents a hallowed and important tradition which I actually did invent.”

“Please accept my apology for interrupting your meal. Since this is a special occasion, I wanted to mark it by getting all of my interruptions out of the way before Governor Bush speaks.”

“I know some people are going to keep accusing me of exaggeration, so let me be clear. Those people seek nothing less than the complete destruction of the American way of life.”

“My plan to put Social Security in an iron clad lock box has gotten a lot of attention recently, and I’m glad about that. But I’m afraid that it is overshadowing some other vitally important proposals. For instance, I’ll put Medicaid in a walk-in closet. I will put the community reinvestment act in a secure gym locker. I’ll put NASA funding in a hermetically sealed ziplock bag.”

“It is an honor to share the dais with a descendent of the great Al Smith. Al, your great-grandfather was my favorite kind of governor. The kind who ran for president and lost.”

“As usual, negotiations for this joint appearance with Governor Bush were pretty intense. We did win one critical concession. Later on, Joe Lieberman will get 90 seconds to rebut grace.”

Bush:

“This is an impressive crowd: the have’s and the have-more’s. Some people call you the elite. I call you my base.”

“The story of Al Smith’s historic run for the presidency is truly inspiring. It gives me hope that in America, it’s still not possible for a fellow named Al to be the Commander-in-Chief.”

“I actually have a lot of respect for the New York media. Believe it or not, even the New York Times. I like a newspaper that’s predictable. When I was a couple of points down, they said my campaign was in crisis. When I was a little bit up, they said I was neck-in-neck. And as I gained more points, they said the race became vulnerable. If I win I can imagine the headlines, ‘Gore sweeps New York City, setbacks elsewhere.’”

“Foreign policy has been a big issue in this campaign, and we just really had some good news out of Yugoslavia. Especially pleased that Mr. Milosovic has stepped down. That’s one less polysyllabic name for me to remember. You know what this world really needs? It really needs more world leaders named Al Smith.”

“There is a lot of history, not only in this city, but right here in this hotel. For years this was the home of Al Smith’s opponent, Herbert Hoover. When you think of the Hoover years you think of depression, food lines, despairing people jumping out of windows. Or as the Vice-President might call it - a day in the life of Texas.”

“My opponent keeps saying that I give too much tax relief to the top 1%, but he hasn’t heard my latest proposal. The bottom 99% will do well when they get to split Dick Cheney’s stock options.”