Here are the complete standings for all 8 scenarios in the women’s pool.

Here’s the same thing for the men’s.

Tennessee — which escaped the Sweet Sixteen because the refs blew the whistle on Baylor when they clearly shouldn’t have (edged Stanford in an Elite Eight thriller — or heartbreaker, if you’re a fan of the #6-seeded Cardinal).

The women’s Final Four is now set: #1 Tennessee vs. #4 LSU, and #2 UConn vs. #7 Minnesota. The combined seed number of the four women’s teams is 14 (an average seed of 3.5). In the men’s Final Four, that number is 8 (an average seed of 2). It seems the real March Madness is on the women’s side!

An appeals court has agreed to hear the NFL’s appeal of the “Maurice Clarett ruling” on an expedited basis, with a decision likely coming before draft day.

If the ruling goes against Clarett, USC’s Mike Williams would also be rendered ineligible to enter the draft — which would mean he’d be ineligible to play football anywhere next year, since he’s already hired an agent and thus has sacrificed his amateur status. (One wonders if the NCAA might make an exception, under the circumstances, but I doubt it — the NCAA isn’t the sort of organization that prides itself on making exceptions.)

#7-seed Minnesota stunned #1-seed Duke in the Mideast Regional Final moments ago, sending the Golden Gophers to the Final Four — and eliminating UConn senior Kristin Vasil from any chance of winning The Living Room Times’s seventh annual women’s basketball pool.

The Blue Devils’ loss simplifies the LRT pool scenarios considerably. If UConn wins the national title, Matt Kagan, Conor Sullivan and Danny Pilz will finish tied for the pool championship. If UConn does not win it all, Scott Loomer will win the pool.

The Devils’ loss also means there will not be duplicate UConn-Duke semifinal matchups in the men’s and women’s tournaments. The men’s teams will meet in the Final Four, and the women’s teams would have as well if the Duke women had won tonight.

Wonkette: “John Kerry: Chintzy bastard or elitist f**k?”

(As usual with Wonkette links, parental discretion is advised.)

Meanwhile, over on ScrappleFace, we learn that Kerry is upset about the Pope’s “tragically not nuanced” anti-abortion stance. Funniest part of the story: the assertion that Kerry attends “the Cathedral of Our Lady of Flexible Doctrine.”

Hmm… maybe President Bush is softening on gay marriage. Heh.

This seems right to me: “Dr. Rice’s appearance before the Commission is in response to the special circumstances presented by the events of September 11 and the Commission’s unique mandate and should not be viewed as a precedent for future requests for public testimony by White House officials.”

This occurred to me several days ago as I thought about this executive-privilege dilemma. I said to myself, “Self, 9/11 was clearly an unprecedented event. Why can’t we all simply agree that, under these unprecedented circumstances, it makes sense for Condi to testify, but it won’t set a precedent because the whole thing is unprecedented!” A court can’t really do this (despite the Supreme Court’s best attempts in Bush v. Gore), but legislators and executive-branch officials can, and I think it’s the right call.

So, do you think Condi will cheer up now?

Probably not, if she happens to catch a glimpse of this Fark.com Photoshop contest…

Hehehe…

UPDATE: As long as we’re on the topic of Fark.com, their headline for the Condi-agrees-to-testify story is: “Condoleezza Rice buckles to pressure: Agrees to provide meaningless, unhelpful testimony before irrelevant committee of congressional idiots.”

An auspicious start to the baseball season: the Yankees lose.

U.K. police have arrested eight people and seized a whole bunch of explosives in what The Evening Standard is calling “an Al Qaeda plot to blast London” — specifically, a “wave” of Bali-like attacks on pubs and clubs.

Meanwhile, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed has told interrogators that Al Qaeda “had been planning attacks on the Library Tower in Los Angeles and the Sears Tower in Chicago on the heels of the September 11, 2001, terror strikes.”

“Those plans were aborted mainly because of the decisive U.S. response to the New York and Washington attacks, which disrupted the terrorist organization’s plans so thoroughly that it could not proceed, according to transcripts of his conversations with interrogators.”

UPDATE: Another foiled attack, in the Philippines. Seems Al Qaeda has been busy. Wonder if they’ve got anything else planned?

I’ve crunched the numbers for the LRT women’s pool, and the scenarios are exactly as I thought.

Kristin Vasil needs Duke to reach the title game — and then to either win the title, or lose to someone other than Tennessee — so she will be mathematically eliminated if the #1 Blue Devils lose to #7 Minnesota this evening.

No one else is on the brink of elimination today. Loomer’s best-case scenario is a win by Minnesota, but even if the Dukies prevail, he will have a chance to win the pool: he would simply need for UConn to beat Duke but lose in the title game, or for Duke to beat the Huskies but lose to Tennessee for the championship.

Today’s games have no impact on Matt Kagan, Conor Sullivan and Danny Pilz, except insofar as they affect the matchups that await UConn in New Orleans. Regardless of what happens in other games, the trio will finish first if the Huskies win the national championship — simple as that.

Here is the complete rundown of the 32 remaining scenarios, grouped by today’s four possible scenarios. The national champion and runner-up are listed, which indicates the outcome of all three Final Four games. The last name of winner(s) is listed next to the winning point total (out of 477) in that scenario.

If Tennessee & Duke win today

UConn over Tenn. - Kagan, Sullivan, Pilz - 374
Tenn. over UConn - Loomer - 376
UConn over LSU - Kagan, Sullivan, Pilz - 354
LSU over UConn - Loomer 331
Duke over Tenn. - Vasil - 362
Tenn. over Duke - Loomer - 356
Duke over LSU - Vasil - 342
LSU over Duke - Vasil - 317

If Stanford & Duke win today

UConn over Stanford - Kagan, Sullivan, Pilz - 339
Stanford over UConn - Loomer - 316
UConn over LSU - Kagan, Sullivan, Pilz - 339
LSU over UConn - Loomer - 316
Duke over Stanford - Vasil - 327
Stanford over Duke - Vasil - 302
Duke over LSU - Vasil - 327
LSU over Duke - Vasil - 302

If Tennessee & Minnesota win today

UConn over Tenn. - Kagan, Sullivan, Pilz - 359
Tenn. over UConn - Loomer - 361
UConn over LSU - Kagan, Sullivan, Pilz - 339
LSU over UConn - Loomer - 316
Minn. over Tenn. - Loomer - 316
Tenn. over Minn. - Loomer - 341
Minn. over LSU - Loomer - 296
LSU over Minn. - Loomer - 296

If Stanford & Minnesota win today

UConn over Stanford - Kagan, Sullivan, Pilz - 324
Stanford over UConn - Loomer - 301
UConn over LSU - Kagan, Sullivan, Pilz - 324
LSU over UConn - Loomer - 301
Minn. over Stanford - Loomer - 281
Stanford over Minn. - Loomer - 281
Minn. over LSU - Loomer - 281
LSU over Minn. - Loomer - 281