(Agence Feline-Presse, Jan. 29, 2004) — Noted cat-blogger and movie star Butter Zak rocked the feline political establishment by endorsing Joe Lieberman for president Thursday.
“Butter felt that the presence of three cats on Lieberman’s animal-endorsement page indicates that he is a friend of cats as well as dogs — he just got bad advice on which species to emphasize,” said Brendan Loy, Butter’s daddy.
“Meow,” concurred Butter.
The Lieberman campaign expressed hope that Butter’s announcement would contribute to the Connecticut senator’s surging “Joe-mentum.” One staffer commented, “This is the best news we’ve had since we found out that finishing almost 8,000 votes behind can actually qualify as a momentum-building ‘tie.’”
Loy denied allegations that Butter’s endorsement of his home state’s native son was related in any way to the presence of cat treats near a Lieberman campaign sign.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Loy stated.
Loy also denied that he attempted to subliminally influence Butter’s decision by whispering other Democratic candidates’ names in her ear while feeding her foul-tasting medicine. (Butter has been suffering from a stomach infection.)
“I did no such thing,” Loy said. “Butter made this decision entirely on her own.”
“If the medicine had any influence at all,” he added, “it was in helping to convince Butter of the superiority of Joe Lieberman’s health-care plan, which would hold HMOs accountable, expand quality health care for middle-class families, and also, make medicines taste less yucky.”
Butter’s announcement came just days after the feline community was rocked by the release of a photo showing rival candidate Howard Dean attacking a defenseless kitten.
Although apparently doctored, the photo — which no rival campaign has claimed authorship of — has been extremely effective, causing Dean’s poll numbers among cats to drop to 0.001%.
I stopped by Joe Lieberman’s Arizona headquarters today after work to pick up some campaign paraphernalia.
The place felt rather empty — a very small handful of volunteers in a large room, and not much activity going on — and when I walked in, they seemed literally stunned to see a stranger come in the door. Or perhaps the better word is simply “confused.” It kind of seemed like they thought I might be lost. :) Alas, I don’t think too many members of the public have been darkening the door of the Lieberman headquarters…
Not suprisingly, they had a giant blown-up copy of the Arizona Republic endorsement on their wall. I overheard some chatter between volunteers about a press conference earlier in the day; I believe they said two local TV stations showed up.
Anyway, the volunteer who helped me was delighted — or, again, momentarily confused, but then delighted — when I asked if she had any buttons, stickers, etc. (There were bumper stickers and cardboard signs out on display — and I took several of those, too — but I wanted something to wear as well.) She gave me a bunch of stuff, and encouraged me to take whatever else I wanted; the subtext seemed to be, “No one else is taking it,” but perhaps I’m reading too much into it. :)
I also took a bunch of position papers, explaining aloud that “I’m already a supporter, but I have to try to convince my girlfriend.” Becky, after all, is the only Arizona voter in our house, so she’s my only hope to boost Senator Joe’s numbers on Feb. 3. She swears she won’t vote for Lieberman, but hey, you can’t fault me for trying. :)
The Lieberman lady took a picture of me inside the HQ: