10. Couldn’t argue with Martha Stewart’s claim to be the rightful Dark Lord
9. All-seeing Eye no match for Gimli’s all-knowing Beard
8. At the last minte, decided war sucks, peace rules, man
7. Just couldn’t resist Legolas’s rampant androgenous sex appeal
6. Elves, Men had unfair advantage due to inflated strength of schedule
5. Bad real-estate advice: should never have moved from Barad-dur to spider hole in Tikrit
4. Hypnotized and confused by Elrond’s deep voice saying over and over, “Hello, Mr. Anderson”
3. Prince Charles a bad choice for army captain
2. Thought Frodo and Sam were just the advance team for Mordor edition of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”
1. Didn’t stand a chance once Al Gore endorsed Aragorn

These “every-day-this-week” features never seem to work the way I intend, do they? Alas, once again, I don’t have time to do a proper Return of the King tribute tonight… and I won’t tomorrow, either, since I’ll be at work all morning and afternoon, and then en route to Albuquerque all night.

So this will probably be my last non-Moblog post on the subject for the next few days, unless I sneak in a post at the end of the work day tomorrow, or log on from the hotel Tuesday morning in Albuquerque. But whatever. The anticipation at this point is so great as to render tributes and countdowns pretty much superfluous anyway. With apologies to Peter Jackson and Ian McKellen: “We come to it at last… the great movie of our time.” :)

I will say this: I saw a TV commercial for ROTK this evening that contained a few lines and images that I had not previously seen. Among them: a fleeting glimpse of Sauron in physical form. COOL!

Also, after Denethor, the Steward of Gondor, declares, “I will not bow to this Ranger from the North,” Gandalf replies, “Authority is not given to you to deny the Return of the King!” Ha! So they managed to work the titles of all three books into the dialogue of the movies! Hahaha!

LESS THAN 48 HOURS TO GO!!!!!!!

Once upon a time, the “Reverse Cowgirl” called me a “stink-pot redhead” on her blog, and that is still probably my favorite insult ever hurled at me by a fellow blogger.

But “Sizzly,” of the blog Dorky Goodness (motto: “Oh yeah! I’m a dork”), is definitely in the running for the title now, too. According to him (her?), I’m a clueless heretic!

For the record, Lord of the Rings is way better than Star Wars, and if saying so makes me a heretic, well then, screw that religion!

Down with the aristocracy (George Lucas), up with the bourgoise (Peter Jackson!)

Luke sucks! Frodo rules!

Obi-wan wouldn’t stand a chance against Gandalf!

And Sauron could kick Darth Vader’s ass!

There, I’m glad we’ve settled that through intelligent discussion and debate. :)

Grand Valley State defeated North Dakota, 10-3 yesterday, to win the undisputed championship of Division II football. Delaware and Colgate will play for that honor in Division I-AA football on Friday. College football championships decided on the field… what a concept!

Meanwhile, in ESPN’s fake Division I-A playoff, the voters picked a pair of semifinal upsets and have produced a fake championship game that sounds oddly familiar: USC vs. Michigan!

The final poll is now in progress, and Michigan is winning at the moment — sounds like the Big Ten fans are voting early and often — so go out there and support your Trojans!

We are all Paris Hilton. Well, except for the homemade porn thing, I guess.

We got him!!!

Thoughts:
1. George Bush just got re-elected.
2. How cool is it to be a soldier in the Fourth Infrantry Division right now?
3. Why does this sort of news always break right after the newspapers go to press? (I wonder if any Extra editions will be published?)
4. Undoubtedly this is very good in the long term for the occupation’s fight against the Iraqi insurgency, but I wonder if there will be a particularly bad attack or two in the short term, in retaliation and anger.
5. Who the hell lives in a hole for five months? (this thought is brought to you by Becky)
6. Did they check the next hole to be sure Osama isn’t there? :)
7. Not that anyone is really going to speak out on behalf of Saddam Hussein’s civil liberties, but… are there any rules about videotaping a prisoner’s medical exam and broadcasting it worldwide?
8. How nervous are France, Germany and Russia this morning, that their dirty laundry (i.e. secret, illegal contracts with Iraq) is going to be aired now?

UPDATE: Jacques Chirac speaks: “The president is delighted at the arrest of Saddam Hussein. This is a major event which should strongly contribute to the democratisation and the stabilisation of Iraq and allow the Iraqis to once more be masters of their destiny in a sovereign Iraq.” Yeah, no thanks to you, jackass.

Get the latest news from The Command Post.

ANOTHER UPDATE: They’re calling it “Operation: Red Dawn.” What is this, Helm’s Deep? Did Gandalf appear on the crest of a hill at sunrise and ride to the aid of the Fourth Infantry? “Now for wrath, now for ruin, and a red dawn!”

YET ANOTHER UPDATE: The Defense Department has posted some new pics of its website:

Saddam before and after being shaved by U.S. forces.

Paul Bremer watching the video of Saddam’s medical exam.

Updating the deck of cards.

The Poynter Institute has an analysis of online coverage of Saddam’s capture. Jeff Jarvis has links to Iraqi bloggers. Glenn Reynolds’s InstaPundit has links to… well, all sorts of stuff, as usual. And the BlogsForBush CafeShop already has a “We Got Him” t-shirt for sale. God bless America!

Oh, and check it out, CBSNews.com is copying BrendanLoy.com. :)

SILLY UPDATE: Heh.

Double the pleasure, double the fun, double the dorkiness!!! As promised, since I failed to post a Return of the King countdown & tribute yesterday, it’s time for a double-tribute today, as we mark THREE DAYS TO GO until the premiere of ROTK!!!

Copyright Violation of the Day #1:
Courtesy of TheOneRing.net…

The Rohirrim charge into battle at the Pelennor Fields.

Copyright Violation of the Day #2:
Also courtesy of TheOneRing.net…

Aragorn leads the army of the Dead into battle! Cool!!!

Burning Question of the Day #1:
Will Ghan-buri-Ghan make the cut?

Like Tom Bombadil in Fellowship of the Ring, Ghan-buri-Ghan — a Wild Man of the woods in northwestern Gondor — is something of a quirky character in Return of the King. Bombadil, who was never an especially popular character in my family anyway, was cut from the first movie, and few tears were shed at 28 Hartford Avenue. But will Ghan — who is a Loomer-Loy family favorite — be cut as well?

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Gonzaga just upset the #4-ranked team in the country, Missouri, 87-80 in overtime! Looks like the Zags’ #18 ranking will be improving shortly.

In other news, the Red Sox have signed Keith Foulke, baseball’s top free-agent closing pitcher. Take that, George Steinbrenner.

Last but not least, the Heisman Trophy presentation is tonight. With USC’s two deserving players, Matt Leinart and Mike Williams, being left out of the festivities, there’s not as much intrigue for us Trojans as we might have hoped. But I’ll be watching anyway (ESPN, 8:00 PM Eastern), and rooting for Eli Manning of Ole Miss, not necessarily because I think he’s the most deserving, but because I don’t want Jason White to win, and I fear that if a wide receiver (Larry Fitzgerald) wins this year, it will be harder for a wide receiver (Mike Williams) to win next year or the following year. :)

UPDATE: Hell yeah, Pete Carroll’s the coach of the year! And hell yeah, UConn’s Randy Edsall deserves at least an honorable mention.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Hey, check it out! Even the nerds want a playoff! That’s right, USC statistics professors are crying foul over the BCS. Heh.

AND ANOTHER: “The Pac-10…appears headed for a retro-70s look, when it consisted of USC and the Nine Dwarfs,” writes Ted Miller in ESPN.com’s Pac-10 season in review.

FINAL UPDATE: Jason White won. Yawn.

Connecticut’s lying scumbag governor, John Rowland, yesterday admitted he’s a lying scumbag. Well, now we’re getting somewhere.

Becky and I went out partying with her fellow ASU students last night, and even though I was the designated driver and was thus entirely sober, I still didn’t feel like posting a Return of the King countdown/tribute when we got home. :) So I’ll post a double-tribute later today.

By the way, Elijah Wood (Frodo) is hosting Saturday Night Live tonight!

Today we’ve got a little comedy, in addition to all the nerdiness. And not of the Brendan Loy Top Ten list variety, either — I’m talking actual, legitimate, published comedy. :) Scroll down and enjoy!

(Warning: SPOILERS BELOW if you haven’t read the books!)

Burning Question of the Day:
Will the scene where Sam abandons Frodo for dead on the slopes of the Morgai in Mordor, and takes the Ring for himself to complete the Quest, be the most emotional, gut-wrenching scene in the history of movies, or what?

Okay, so that’s kind of a rhetorical question. :) I don’t have any elaboration for this one. You’ll understand when you see it.

Copyright Violation of the Day:
Courtesy of TheOneRing.net…

Frodo in Shelob’s Lair. Ooooh, spooky. :)

Nerdy Middle-Earth Fact of the Day:
Today I answer the question: “Who and what are Gandalf and Saruman, anyway?”

Gandalf and Saruman are two of the five Istari, or Wizards, who were sent east from Valinor by the Valar, the mighty gods of Tolkien’s world, to help the free peoples of Middle-earth battle Sauron. The Istari first appeared on the scene roughly one thousand years after Isildur took the Ring from Sauron, which is roughly two thousand years before the events of Lord of the Rings.

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