Village Voice columnist Ta-Nehisi Coates has a crush on Condoleezza Rice:

I’ve got a running joke with my girlfriend. It starts in an alternate reality where I’m 20 years older, single, and childless. I’ve also gone all John Hinckley over Condi Rice, and somehow I manage to finagle my way into a social event where she is a guest. When she’s off to herself and no one’s looking, I whisper in her ear, “I hate everything you stand for. You take orders from a tribe of orcs who worship the Stone Age and mistake myopia for morality, and brutality for strength. You are a disgrace to your people and their long history of forcing this country to live up to its lofty ideals. Furthermore, you are the most beautiful woman inside the Beltway. Come away with me to a desert island. We will make beautiful arguments together.”