Let’s see those BCS bastards pick the Irish over the Trojans now.

USC eviscerated Notre Dame, 44-13, at the Coliseum on Saturday. The #6 (soon to be at least #5) Trojans absolutely dominated the #7 (soon to be ranked in double-digits) Fighting Irish, racking up an astounding 610 total yards — the most ever scored against Notre Dame — and holding the Irish to a pathetic 109 total yards.

USC’s should-be Heisman Trophy winner Carson Palmer had 425 yards passing — again, the most ever given up by Notre Dame — and four touchdowns. Fab freshman (and Becky’s former academic tutee) Mike Williams caught 10 passes for 169 yards and two of Carson’s touchdowns. And the Trojan defense held Notre Dame’s much-ballyhooed (by the ABC announcers, at least) quarterback, Carlyle Holiday, to 10-of-29 passing for 70 yards, with three interceptions.

This is the first time USC has beaten UCLA and Notre Dame in the same season since 1981. And they did it by a combined score of 96-34.

USC, which played the toughest schedule in the whole freakin’ country, finishes its season 10-2. We beat Colorado (soon to be ranked in the Top 10), 40-3. We beat a good Auburn team, a bunch of good Pac-10 teams, and we destroyed our two archrivals. Our only losses were to Washington State and Kansas State, both Top 10 teams. It should be enough to put the Trojans in a BCS bowl game. But will it be?

Incredibly, Notre Dame could actually beat out USC for the final BCS bowl berth despite Saturday’s thorough drubbing at the Trojans’ own hands. The Irish and the Trojans both finished their seasons 10-2, which means their head-to-head matchup should be the tiebreaker, and the Trojans should win, right? Well, yeah, it should, but it doesn’t necessarily work that way. After the “automatic berths” are given out to the six major-conference champions, the BCS bowls can pick whoever they want from the remaining teams in the BCS Top 12 rankings. And money, not football prowess, is often the determining factor in who gets picked.

So the Orange or Sugar Bowl still may pick Notre Dame, which has the nation’s biggest and most well-travelled fan base, even though USC wiped the floor with the overrated Irish on Saturday. But there are several ways that this option could be taken away from the greedy bowl bastards:

1. As stated last week, Trojan fans should swallow their hatred of the Bruins and root like hell for UCLA in its game against Washington State next Saturday. If the Bruins win, the Trojans are Pac-10 champions — which means they get an automatic bid to the Rose Bowl (which is one of the BCS bowls), no more questions asked. (Unless, of course, the Trojans qualify for the national-championship Fiesta Bowl — more on that shortly.) Coincidentally, the greedy bowl bastards will be rooting for this scenario too, because it would allow them to have their cake and eat it too: USC gets a big bowl, and Notre Dame can still get the eighth invitation. (In other words, USC taking Washington State’s place would spare the bowl bastards from having to decide whether USC should take Notre Dame’s place. Or, more accurately, whether Notre Dame should take USC’s rightful place.)

2. The Trojans can cement their situation by climbing into the Top 4 of the BCS standings. Any team in the Top 4, even if they’re not a conference champion, automatically gets a BCS berth ahead of any non-Top 4 team. This is very possible: because of #3 Oklahoma’s loss Saturday, the Trojans will be at least #5 when the new rankings come out on Monday. They could be #4 if they pass Iowa, which may happen. If not, they could move up to #4 if either Miami or Georgia loses next Saturday.

3. USC can hope Notre Dame’s loss Saturday is bad enough to make the Irish fall out of the BCS Top 12 entirely. That would render the Irish ineligible for a BCS bowl game. It seems unlikely, because margin of victory is not taken into account anymore by the computer ratings, and the Irish are still a two-loss team with a decent schedule strength. But if the poll voters really punish Notre Dame for its lopsided loss to USC, it could happen.

If none of these things happen, USC will just have to hope the bastards at the Orange or Sugar Bowl do the right thing and pick the obviously better team over the South Bend Pretenders. If they pick Notre Dame anyway, you can be sure it will cause a national controversy, and rightfully so.

Now for the USC national-championship-scenario update:

One of the things that USC needed to happen for its Fiesta Bowl dream to come true happened Saturday: Oklahoma lost. Unfortunately, Miami and Georgia both won victories even more convincing than the Trojans’. So now USC needs both of those teams to lose next week. Miami plays Virginia Tech; Georgia plays Arkansas. If both lose, the Trojans not only clinch a BCS bowl game, but they can seriously think Fiesta.

If Miami and Georgia both lose next week, the top four teams in the country at the end of the regular season will be:
#1: Ohio State
#2, 3, and 4, in some order: Iowa, USC, Miami
How those second, third, and fourth-place spots would play out in the rankings is anybody’s guess. It depends on the vagaries of computer formulas, the whims of poll voters, and perhaps a bit of luck. But anything is possible. For now, the point is this: aside from their worst-case scenario of the non-BCS Holiday Bowl, the Trojans could conceivably play in any of the Big Four bowls. We’ll just have to see how it shakes out next week.

In the meantime, the coaches’ and sportswriters’ polls are due out tomorrow morning. Big questions of the hour:
1. Will Georgia leapfrog Iowa? (If they do so, in either poll, USC will probably pass Iowa in the BCS.)
2. How far will Notre Dame fall? (The further they fall, the more likely they drop out of the BCS Top 12.)
3. Will the Trojans leapfrog anybody other than Oklahoma? (I doubt it, but who knows?)
Stay tuned…

UPDATE, 12/8/02: Here are some photos of Becky, her brother Casey and me watching the game on the Zaks’ big-screen TV.