Fight on for the USC men’s tennis team, the new national champions!!!

The Trojans, a huge underdog, won the championship as a #11-seed by defeating the #6, #3, #2, and #1 seeds, in that order. What a run!!! They capped it off with a triumphant 4-1 victory over defending champion Georgia in the NCAA title match Tuesday.

“This is unbelievable. I keep pinching myself,” said USC head coach Dick Leach, who is retiring after this season. “This is my Cinderella team.”

Click here for an article on the win over Georgia.

The Trojans upset #6-seed Baylor, #3-seed Illinois (my mom’s alma mater), and #2-seed Tennessee en route to the title match. USC freshman Prakash Armitraj, who won the clinchings point against Illinois, Tennessee and Georgia, was named NCAA Tournament MVP.

This is USC’s 16th NCAA title in tennis — its first since 1994 — and the university’s 94th national championship in all sports combined!!!

CNN keeps showing us live pictures of Lady Liberty, as if they expect her to blow up at any moment. Meanwhile, India and Pakistan are “very close” to war. Aren’t they always?

If you’ve been watching CNN or visiting its website lately, you could be excused for believing that every American will inevitably suffer one of two fates this summer: we’ll either be blown up by terrorists, or eaten by sharks.

However, CNN is giving us some calming news on at least one front: Al Qaeda did not attend the “terror summit” in Beirut, contrary to what ABC News said earlier. So maybe Osama isn’t really conspiring with Hamas and Hezbollah to wreak havoc at the Hello Deli. Then again, maybe he is. As Tom Ridge says, we must be “vigilant.” (What does that mean, anyway?)

Meanwhile, the Ashcroft Justice Department is actually suing someone over the 2000 election in Florida. And, in cola-related news, Coca-Cola is apparently racist, and some Iranian company is now selling “Islamic” Coke. (Does that mean Vanilla Coke is officially a drink for infidels?)

…but I don’t believe this threat to the Statue of Liberty and the Brooklyn Bridge is legit. Lady Liberty is a great symbol, but bringing her down wouldn’t kill very many Americans — the statue itself isn’t open to tourists these days, and a lot of the tourists on Liberty Island are probably foreigners. And, in case we all forgot, Al Qaeda likes to do more than destroy American symbols — it also likes to kill lots of Americans.

The Brooklyn Bridge is somewhat more plausible, especially if the attack were planned for rush hour… but here’s another theory. Maybe the Al Qaeda detainees who planted this piece of “intelligence” are deliberately trying to distract New York authorities so they won’t be paying attention to the apartment buildings stuffed with bombs, the ship heading into the harbor with nukes, the guy on the subway with smallpox, or whatever. Call me crazy, but I think it’s a diversionary tactic. That doesn’t particularly reassure me, but that’s what I think.

Apparently the prime targets are the Statue of Liberty and the Brooklyn Bridge, according to MSNBC.com. But the warning “is based on nonspecific, undated and unverified information,” and “federal officials cautioned they placed little stock” in the threat. Sounds like CNN’s breaking-news alert was a little alarmist.

An ABC News exclusive: Leaders of terror groups, including al Qaeda, Hamas and Hezbollah, recently met in Lebanon and may be plotting attacks on Americans, intelligence officials say.

But here’s some good news: Coconuts are deadlier than sharks.

In the last three days, we’ve had government officials telling us that terrorists will inevitably attack again soon, that they will inevitably use West Bank-style suicide bombs, and that they will inevitably use weapons of mass destruction… and that we can’t really do anything about it. It will just happen.

Of course, this is all true… I could have told you that. But what happened to all the false bravado about rooting out terror, defeating terrorists, winning the war on terrorism, defending the homeland, etc.? Did the entire Bush Administration drink a truth serum or something? And if so, why? I sort of liked the phony reassurances!

Citing an “abundance of caution,” FBI alerts NYC authorities to be ready for possible terror attacks against landmarks, sources tell CNN.

Let’s see… what the best way to ostracize an elementary-schoolgirl and scar her for life? Well, how about this: Kick her out of school because her mother is a stripper, then let her back in for the last three weeks of the year so she can face the ridicule of her peers. Yeah, that should work pretty well.

I have no problem with Christians, per se. Technically, I am one. But there are a whole lot of Christians, and Christian institutions in particular, in this country and this world, that desperately need to get a clue.