By Brendan Loy

As we all know by now, horror and death visited the United States once more today, some hour and 20 minutes from my front door in a small town called Newtown, CT. There was too much blood spilled and for too little reason, as it almost always the case when blood is spilled. The reality of it is overwhelming, stifling, crushing. And in these moments, inevitably, parents turn to one another and ask, “How do explain this to the kids?”

My wife and I’s daughter just turned 1 year and five months old yesterday so there is nothing to be said to her. Her world remains as it was yesterday, untouched by the unspeakable, perplexing nature of tragedy. But it will not always be that way. Someday, I fear sooner than later, we will be faced by another horror and she will want to know why, what it means, are we safe? I have thought a lot about what I will say as I am sure all of you have. This is what I have. Feel free to take what you need when the time comes and leave the rest.

I will not start gracefully, I can tell you that. I love words and I love speaking them—Lord knows that—but there are moments that I feel so small next to that conjuring even simple sentences seems impossible. So I will stammer and stutter, hem and haw like a near-six feet tall, bald, blue eyed WASP-y Woody Allen at first. Until I do not, until, finally, I push back my own private cloud of despair long enough to reach down through my child’s and take her hand.

I will tell her then that is ok to be scared or angry or confused or sad. I will admit I am scared, angry, confused, and sad all at once. These are natural reactions to moments such as these. It is healthy to feel what we feel. And it is equally healthy when we start to feel happy, funny, or excited again.

I will tell her to beware people with pat answers about why people do wrong. It is never as simple as “video games” or “atheism.”

I will tell her that yes, people with mental illnesses can be violent and yes, Daddy does work with people with mental illnesses everyday. But the violent among them, much like the violent among us, are few and far between. People who do violence may be mentally ill, but mental illness and violence are not one in the same.

Most importantly, I will tell her that, yes, we are capable of such terrible things. There is darkness. And there are moments, moments like this where it feels like all we are capable of is devastation, where that inky blackness feels impermeable. But that feeling, the quicksand of despair and cynicism, that is not reality. That is not truth. That’s our minds playing tricks on us because what else can they do when the blood spilled is so much and so unnecessary.

No, we are capable of so much more, so much better than these moments and the tragedies themselves prove that. As surely as there are villains, there are heroes. They may not wear a cape and cowl or swing around in red jumpsuit and carry a billy club any more than the villains smirk a rictus grin or display a crosshair tattoo. They are heroes just the same.

I will not tell her of Dawn Hochsprung, the principal at Sandy Hook Elementary who ran towards, not away, from gunfire and may have activated that PA system allowing so many to survive with her dying act. I will not tell her of the men and women of United Flight 93 who gave their lives preventing terrorists from meeting their goal on September 11th. I will not tell her of the likes of Jon Blunk, Matt McQuinn, and Alex Teves who placed themselves between bullets and the women they loved in a movie theatre in Colorado earlier this year. There will be new heroes in the wake of a new tragedy, people who stood and risked their lives for others because that is what people do. I will tell her to look, look at what we can do even when faced with the worst of ourselves.

And if I know my daughter like I think I do, I know she will hear me and while she might not understand how it could have happened—and really who does understand this—she will find some comfort there. She will close her eyes and go to sleep and the next morning things will be just a bit better.

I will go downstairs and weep, like parents do every night in places the world over, be it Newtown, CT or on the other side of the world in China. I will weep for the victims, for lives ended ugly and far too soon. I will weep for monsters who can’t comprehend their monsters, monsters who can but cannot stop, and even those that can stop and choose not to. I will weep for all the horribleness and wonder, the hatred and love, the hideousness and beauty humanity is capable of all at once. And while I’m not one for intercessory prayer, I’m sure I will pray a bit too, though I know not for what. Then I will dry my eyes, hug my wife, call my friends, put one foot in front of the other. Live my life because, in the wake of tragedy, it is what must be done. Produce light so the dark cannot swallow us.

By David K.

Two more teams earn bowl spots, bringing the conference up to 6 eligible teams (7 if you include USC who are unable to go do to asinine NCAA sanctions). Who goes where is a much murkier picture. We know the game will be host by either Stanford or Oregon. Ducks only need one wni to earn their spot, Cardinal need them to lose both to take back 1st place in the north. The South is a bit messier. UCLA needs to finish ahead of ASU and Utah to go. A three way tie or a two way tie between the Bruins and Sun Devils means ASU goes. A tie between UCLA and Utah goes to Utah. Hopefully things will be a little clearer after this weekend.
1. Oregon (9-1, 7-0)
LW: 2
Oregon earned its spot atop the conference with a decisive win over Stanford. One more victory and they will host the innaugural Pac-12 championship game and be the favorite for the Rose Bowl berth.

2. Stanford (9-1, 7-1 Pac-12)
LW: 1
Stanford’s dream season upended by Oregon two years running. Defense was unable to stop Oregon’s ground game. Still a shot at the title if Oregon loses two and Cardinal beat Bears on Saturday. Win out and Fiesta Bowl berth also a possibility.

3. USC (8-2, 5-2)
LW: 3
Dominant win over Washington after dropping the last two to the Huskies on last second field goals. No bowl game? No problem for these Trojans. #KiffinHatersForKiffin

4. Utah (6-4, 3-4)
LW 7
Utes Capture third conference win in a row and bowl eligibility. Good turn around for a team that started out 0-4 in conference play. Games against WSU and Colorado remaining make an 8-4 season a very real possibility for the newbies.

5. Washington (6-4, 4-3)
LW: 4
No last minute heroics for the Huskies this time, the score wasn’t even close. Huskies have beaten ok and bad teams, but lost poorly to the top teams they have faced. Washington will need to finish strong to avoid a dissapointing end to what started as a promising season. Defense continues to be a problem, and O-line is not helping either.

6. Cal (6-4, 3-4)
LW: 8
Bears join the Utes in earning a bowl spot this week with win over struggling Oregon State team. Can Cal pull the upset in this years edition of the Big Game or will Stanford take out its frustrations on them following the Oregon loss?

7. UCLA (5-5, 4-3)
LW: 5
Bruins were unable to make it three in a row, losing soundly to Utah in a cold, windy game in Salt Lake City. Not exactly what the sons of Westwood are used to weather wise. One thing not cooling off is the hot seat Rick Neuheisal is sitting on. Bruins have two more shots to make the post season.

8. Washington State (4-6, 2-5)
LW: 11
Stunning upset and spectacular QB outting by freshman Connor Halliday. Win out and Cougs will be playing in the post season for first tiem in years, might even save Paul Wulff’s job if they are competitive in final games.

9. ASU (6-4, 4-3)
LW: 6
Turns out the UCLA loss wasn’t a fluke after all. Arizona State, once the Pac-12 South presumptive champion is in a free fall after a strong start. Giving up 500 yards through the air is a tough way to win football games. Maybe the frigid, snowy Pullman weather got to the Sun Devils.

10. Colorado (2-8, 0-6)
LW: 12
Another upset, Buffs climbing out of the cellar with win over Arizona and earning Colorado’s first Pac-12 victory. Arizona State is going to be pulling for another upset win for the Buffs over UCLA.

11. Oregon State (2-8, 2-5)
LW: 10
This season has been nothing short of a disaster for the Beavers starting with the opening weekend loss to Sacramento State. Only where to go from here is up, but likely not soon as the remaining games are against Washington and Oregon.

12. Arizona (2-8, 1-7)
LW: 9
Arizona didn’t just lose to Colorado, they lost bad. Wheatever spark they had in the UCLA game following former coach Mike Stoops firing has dissipated. Rivalry game tommorow and then non-conf matchup against Louisianna Lafeyette to end the season for the Wildcats who get to “enjoy” the bottom for while.

By Becky Loy

Homemade laundry soap is wonderful if you’re frugal and/or if you have eczema. Compared to about $.14/load for something like All Free and Clear, you can make your own soap for less than $.01/load. And unlike many other so-called easy, frugal solutions, this one rates low for the pain-in-the-ass factor.

You need four things to make your own soap: a 5-gallon bucket, washing soda, borax and Fels Naptha soap. You can also use Zote soap or something equivalent.

Grate the Fels Naptha and put it in a saucepan.

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By David K.

It was the last weekend for the much anticipated matchup between Stanford and Oregon, which will likely determine who goes to the Pac-12 title game and would be the presumptive favorite there as well. I struggled with some of the rankings this week due in part to UCLA’s upset of Arizona and Washington’s loss to Oregon. The Top 3 teams are clear, as well as the bottom 4, but there is some muddle in the middle. Ultimately I settled on the ranks below but they are far from set in stone. Good news for teh Pac-12 as well, with UCLA’s win over ASU, this weekends UCLA/Utah match is gaurenteed to give the conference another bowl eligible team.

1. Stanford (9-0, 7-0 Pac-12)
LW: 1
Oregon States defense proved to be suprisingly stout in this game, shutting out the Cardinal in the first quarter and limiting them to only 38 points. In fact it was surprisingly close OSU trailed by only 4 points until Stanford pulled away late in the third quarter. The Cardinal will have to perform better on offense if they hope to beat the other Oregon school. On the other hand the defense did more than enough, limiting the Beavers to 13 points and only 33 rushing yards.

2. Oregon (8-1, 6-0)
LW: 2
Stanford’s offense wasn’t the only one that struggled relative to its usual results last weekend. Oregon was held to under 35 points for the first time since the season opening loss to LSU, and half those points were gift wrapped for the Ducks thanks to big Husky mistakes. Still the defense, like Stanford’s, was stout. Against Andrew Luck and the Cardinal on Saturday they will have to be if they hope to come away with a win.

3. USC (7-2, 4-2)
LW: 3
One week after the Trojan’s triple overtime loss to Stanford, the Trojan’s bounced back and then some, dominating beleagured Colorado in a 42-17 romp. Can Matt Barkley and co. break former Trojan coach Steve Sarkisians run of two against his former team? My guess is yes, the Trojans aren’t battling the same second half sloppiness on D that helped the Huskies win games the past two years. Any other season and we’d be looking forward to seeing this USC team in the Pac-12 championship game.

4. Washington (6-3, 4-2)
LW: 5
How do you move a team up after a loss, especially one in which the offense played so poorly? It was a tough call. The gap between 3 and 4 is huge at the moment in my mind, but I still think the Huskies are one of the best mid-tier Pac-12 teams right now. More on that below. The Huskies need to bounce back from that offensive egg they laid in the final home game in Husky Stadium until 2013 if they hope to have a chance of threepeating against USC this weekend.

5. UCLA (5-4, 4-2)
LW: 7
Like a lot of people I’d written off the Bruins as dead, but they have shown an impressive fortitude in bouncing back after the blowout loss to Arizona. I still think they Huskies are better than the Bruins, hence the 4-5 ranking of the two, but i’m giving UCLA the nod over ASU this week even though its probable that the Sun Devils would win that game more often than not.

6. ASU (6-3, 4-2)
LW: 4
ASU went from controlling its own destiny to need the Bruins to drop a couple down the stretch if they hope to make it to the Pac-12 title game this year. A surprising upset for a team many felt would have a breakout year. Still plenty of time to bounce back, and a game against tumbling Washington State provides the perfect opportunity to do so.

7. Utah (5-4, 2-4)
LW 6
The Utes picked up their second conference victory and are one win away from being bowl eligible. Utah was able to capitalize on three Arizona turnovers to pull ahead early and stay ahead in this Pac-12 south matchup. An 8-4 finish is very doable for the youngest members of the Pac-12, but first up a surprising UCLA team.

8. Cal (5-4, 2-4)
LW: 9
In a must win game if the bears were to have a good chance at making the post-season the Bears were dominant. Now they need to continue to play as well against Oregon State this weekend. Win and they reach 6 and bowl eligibilty, which given the record of the rest of the Pac-12 plus USC’s bowl ban, all but gaurentees a spot in a Pac-12 affiliated bowl game.

9. Arizona (2-7, 1-6)
LW: 8
Arizona meanwhile is out of the race for post season play after a loss to Utah. Three turnovers, two of them INT’s by the otherwise impressive Nick Foles set the Wildcats up for failure. All thats left is to play for pride. Losing to Colorado on Saturday would be a kick in the gut to this allready reeling program.

10. Oregon State (2-7, 2-4)
LW: 11
Oegon Sate too will be staying home for the holidays, the loss to Stanford, although surprisingly competitive until late is still a loss and the Beavers are staring straight into the face of a 2-10 season with final games against Cal, Washington and Oregon.

11. Washington State (3-5, 1-4)
LW: 10
Paul Wulff says that he inherited the worst BCS team in the country when he bacame coach, and he may be right, but that was four season ago and with the Cougars on course to a 3-9 finish on the year all he can console himself with is the knowledge that the program is better than where he found it. But better and good enough aren’t the same thing. Short of a miracle 3-0 final run, its fairly safe to say we are seeing the last days of Wulff as the Cougars head man.

12. Colorado (1-8, 0-5)
LW: 12
Another week, another blow out loss by the Buffs. Colorado’s best chance to climb out of the bottom of this list and notch another conference victory is this weekend with a game against Arizona, but its not a great chance. Colorado is just no that good.

By B. Minich

In the last few years as a Penn State fan, I had one main fear: that somehow, Joe Paterno’s tenure at Penn State University would end in ignomy. Penn State fans like myself had prided themselves on the lack of scandal at the program: seemingly the last football program without one. It seemed too good to last. And as Paterno’s role at Penn State changed from intimate involvement to overseer, I feared that something would escape him, a scandal that he would fail to notice would envelop the program, forever tarnishing the legacy a man who had done many great things for Penn State and college football.

I am saddened to discover that my fears have come true. And this isn’t a “scandal” in the lame NCAA sense, where some kids drove cars around when they shouldn’t have because the NCAA has stupid rules. No, this scandal is the worst thing ever to happen to a college football program. We’ve all been shocked and saddened by the allegations that young boys were molested by a former Penn State coordinator. The crimes are heinous. And the repercussions are only beginning.

Many columnists have written what they think should happen to those who let this abhorrent crime continue on their watch. And I had opinions on it as well. But those are moot now, for Paterno has been fired. The post-Paterno world that all Penn State fans knew was coming is here. In a way that even the most pessimistic believed was impossible.

I’m saddened. Saddened because of what happened to so many young boys. Saddened that more wasn’t done to prevent this. And also saddened that Paterno’s legacy will be remembered this way. Saddened that people will forget what he contributed to education, to civil rights, to the community of State College, PA.

A tweet from the Macworld writer Jason Snell says it well: “It’s a crying shame that this is how Joe Paterno’s career ends. But it had to be done, and he brought it on himself.”

By David K.

The best Pac-12 game of the season to date, two more teams earn bowl eligibility, a couple of upsets and the first week all 12 teams played since week 2. On to this weeks quick rankings before tonight’s Pac-12 showdown between USC and Colorado.

1. Stanford (8-0, 6-0 Pac-12)
LW: 1
It was an epic matchup between the Cardinal and the Trojans, a thrilling triple overtime battle that ended in Stanfords favor to preserve their perfect season and potentially a shot at the National Championship Game. Oregon still to come however. This week a gimme against Oregon State.

2. Oregon (7-1, 5-0)
LW: 2
After a nearly flawless performance against Colorado the Ducks looked far from perfect in this matchup against a mediocre Washington State even with the return of LaMichael James and Darron Thomas. Perhaps looking ahead to this weekends game agaisnt bitter rival Washington?

3. USC (6-2, 3-2)
LW: 3
Trojans were THIS close to pulling the upset, but a costly fumble in the third overtime ended their efforts. Probably the best USC has played all season. Look for them to win easily at Colorado tonight.

4. ASU (6-2, 4-1)
LW: 4
Nothing but smooth sailing for the Sun Devils who rolled Colorado. A win over UCLA secures them a spot in the Pac-12 championship game, likely against Stanford or a rematch with Oregon. Regardless, the Sun Devils are going bowling after notching their 6th win.

5. Washington (6-2, 4-1)
LW: 5
An exciting game against a surprisingly competitive Arizona team, but improved defense and a standout performance by Husky RB Chris Polk, who became the first Husky to gain over 100 yards in both rushing AND reciving in a single game, proppeled the Dawgs to victory and bowl eligibility. A far cry from the 0-12 team of 2008. Did I mention Chris Polk’s 5 TD’s?

6. Utah (4-4, 1-4)
LW9
Congrats to the Utes on their first Pac-12 conference win and taking another step towards post-season play. With four games remaining against the Pac-12’s mediocre to bad bottom half the Utes might end up 8-4 by seasons end, but 6-6 should be a gimmee. Don’t go Cougin it now newbs.

7. UCLA (4-4, 2-3)
LW: 10
They get knocked down, they get up again, the Bruins are yo-yoing through this season. Will they make a bowl, perhaps saving Rich Neuheisals job or are the Westwood faithful fed up with watching their teams mediocrity year after year despite numerous talented players. I’d say short of a season ending victory over USC, this is a team looking for a new coach for next year. For now though, enjoy the 7 spot Bruins.

8. Arizona (2-6, 1-5)
LW: 8
For about 3 quarters the Wildcats played up to the Huskies level, especially on offense, but injuries and physical play from the Dawgs wore them out and the final quarter of the game turned out to be too much for Arizona. Wildcats may pull of a win at home vs Utah and will certainly win against Colorado, but I think there is little chance they win against ASU. Expect Arizona to pull up short at 5-7, cursing the week 5 loss to Oregon State that kept them out of a bowl game.

9. Cal (4-4, 1-4)
LW: 6
Bears dropped a much needed game against UCLA to fall back to .500 on the season. A loss to WSU this weekend would be devestating as it would mean the Bears need an upset win over Stanford, ASU or BOTH to reach a bowl game. Is it time for Tedford to be done?

11. Washington State (3-5, 1-4)
LW: 8
Cougars were surprisingly competitive against Oregon, in the game until late in the 3rd quarter. Even more surprising is how much closer the game could have been but for some key red zone misses by Wazzu. However even head man Paul Wulff has said the time for moral victories is long gone. WSU will probably be another team spending the holidays at home this year.

11. Oregon State (2-6, 2-3
LW: 7
You just notched your second win in a dominant offensive performance against WSU, and how do you follow it up? With a pathetic 8 points against Utah? Sorry Beavers but you’ve earned this spot. Lucky for you Colorado has all but locked up the bottom spot for the rest of the season. Beavers fans should just stat planning for next year.

12. Colorado (1-8, 0-5
LW: 12
Could the Buffs season get any worse? Probably not, but its also not going to get aany better. I see no reason to believe Colorado won’t lose out and spend the rest of the year at the bottom of this (and mnay other) lists. Tough road ahead for Coach Embree and company.

By David K.

A shake-up at the top of the BCS rankings could benefit the Pac-12, but there was plenty of shake-up to go around here at home too. Meanwhile, Larry Scott and the Pac-12 watch with amusement as the rest of the country is in the grips of the latest rounds of Conferencemageddon.

1. Stanford (7-0, 5-0 Pac-12)
LW: 1
The Cardinal made a strong statement on Saturday with their pummeling of the Huskies, the only team on their schedule so far who has a winning record. Stanford dominated on both sides of the ball, especially up front. As they continue moving through the meatier part of their schedule, the Cardinal can help themselves in the BCS standings with wins while hoping more teams at the top stumble. With games left against USC and Oregon, plus the Pac-12 championship game (likely against Arizona State), Stanford stands a reasonable shot at playing for the national title.

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By David K.

The rankings are going to be a little different from here on out. The split format hasn’t been all that interesting given only 6 teams in each division and limited movement between groups of teams. I’m going to start doing a 1-12 ranking from here on out, divisional rankings are easy to draw from that and I think this will give more to discuss/disagree about. So without further ado:

1. Stanford (6-0, 4-0 Pac-12)
LW: 1 North
A bit of a slow start for the Cardinals against an improved Washington State team, but it was a blowout by games end. Stanford becomes the first bowl eligible team for the Pac-12. Expect Oregon to join them this weekend, and Washington and ASU the following week.

2. Oregon (5-1, 3-0)
LW: 2 North
Not only were the Ducks ok without star running back LaMichael James, turns out they didn’t need starting QB Darron Thomas either, who was injured in the early second half of the game on Saturday. True freshman back up Bryan Bennett led the Ducks on four scoring drives from that point on to secure the 41-27 win. Maybe that money they’ve been playing to steer recruits to Eugene has been worth it after all!

3. Washington (5-1, 3-0)
LW: 3 North
The score for the Huskies win over Colorado was an impressive 52-24 and it could easily have been a lot bigger after head coach Stever Sarkisian and the Huskies coasted to the finish for an entire quarter, with backup QB Nick Montana in starting with the last drive of the 3rd quarter. Washington has become a bit of a dark horse candidate to take the Pac-12 North. If they can upset Stanford on the road this weekend don’t be surprised if they don’t run the table from here on out. Thats a big if though.

4. ASU (5-2, 3-1)
LW: 1 South
Arizona State had a chance to make a statement against Oregon on Saturday but fell far short. The second half defensive collapse against a depleted (but still potent) Oregon offense showed that the power in the Pac-12 is in the North this year. The Sun Devil’s continue to be their own worst enemy with sloppy play and unneccesary and ill-timed penalties killing game changing opportunities. ASU may have used its agressive, contentious style to get where it is but its not going to get much further without cleaning up its act.

5. USC (5-1, 3-1)
LW: 2 South
USC rolled over Cal in this one, holding the Bears scoreless in the first half and to only 9 points for the whole game. Expect a better game from the opponent this week in the annual match up against Notre Dame. Despite comments by USC AD Pat Haden that the players don’t treat this rivalry as important as in years past, players have come out to claim they do indeed feel the intensity. We’ll see if they can bring it this weekend and #OccupyNotreDameStadium.

6. Utah (3-3, 0-3)
LW: 4 South
I’m jumping the Utes back over the Bruins based on a quality win at Pittsburgh and the fact that the Utes three conference losses come against the 3rd, 4th, and 5th ranked teams above. The Utes could easily go 6-0 over the remaining schedule since they don’t play Oregon or Stanford. Barring a complete collapse I expect the Ute’s to be bowl eligible by seasons end, probably much sooner. That said I think the next four teams are largely interchangeable at this point.

7. UCLA (3-3, 2-1)
LW: 3 South
A must win game for the Bruins tonight against a reeling Arizona. Lose this one and Rick Neuheisal almost certainly finds himself in the unemployment line alongside former Wildcats head coach Mike Stoops. Win and the Bruins have a real shot at making a bowl game and keep Slick Rick around for another year. I’m picking fUCLA for the win tonight.

8. Washington State (3-3, 1-2)
LW: 5 North
WSU continues to show improvement, hanging with Stanford for a half is impressive, but they have a long way to go as evidenced by the second half performance. A must (and should) win for the Cougs against Oregon State this weekend, they have a much tougher road to the post-season than either Utah or UCLA. Oregon, ASU, Washington, and Utah are all still to come, even Cal might not be a win for the Cougs. That last minute loss to UCLA really hurt.

9. Cal (3-3, 0-3)
LW: 4 North
I continue to wonder how long Jeff Tedford will hang on to his job. Yes he showed some success with the Bears in the past, but that good will has to be wearing thin, especially after the woeful performance last Thursday. Five turnovers and a non-existent running game had the Bears looking more like Cubs. A win against newcomer Utah would certainly help things for the Bears who have a very winable slate over the next four weeks, but given their play of late it looks pretty loseable too.

10. Oregon State (1-5, 1-2)
LW: 6 North
There is a pretty clear line between the top 5 and the middle 4 in the Pac, and another clear line between the middle 4 and the bottom 3. For now, Oregon with their one conference win sits precariously atop this bottom trio. A huge missed opportunity at home versus BYU. Perhaps 1 or 2 more wins on the schedule for the Beavers but a 1-11 season looms large for the current Pac-12 North doormats.

11. Colorado (1-6, 0-3)
LW: 5 South
Following a pounding by Stanford the Buffs headed to Seattle where they suffered another big defeat at the hands of fellow Rick Nueheisal abuse victims Washington. As I said last week the Buffs will be 1-9 when Arizona comes to town for the fight for the bottom of the Pac-12 South.

12. Arizona (1-5, 0-4)
LW: 6 South
The good news for the Wildcats? They didn’t lose last week. The bad news? Its only because they didn’t play. Nick Foles is about the only positive you’ll find on this team and his skill probably won’t be enough to will Arizona to victory tonight, even against a mediocre UCLA team.

By David K.

The Rankings had a BYE last week as I was out of town helping my brother and sister-in-law pack up and move. Check out the rankings below.

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By David K.

I can’t remember exactly how old I was when my dad brought home the first computer I would ever use, a Mac Classic I believe, for summer from the high school where he worked. My first memory of using a computer was playing the black and white version of The Oregon Trail. Fast forward a few years and I was in school, always the first to finish my classwork so I could play Word Munchers or Number Munchers on the Apple IIe we had. I was already hooked. For the rest of my life, computers would be one of my biggest passions. I convinced my parents to get our first home computer (a lowly Performa 475) and then later to upgrade (a Performa 630). I had a subscription to MacWorld and MacAddict. I was a member of Guy Kawasaki’s Evangelist mailing list. For my 17th birthday I asked for (and got) a copy of MacOS 8 for our home computer. Even in those dark years when you were away from the company, I was an Apple fan. Thanks for coming back by the way, it got SO MUCH BETTER!

My passion followed me to college, where I had MY first Mac, a PowerMacintosh G3 tower. I even had a couple Apple posters on the walls in my dorm room. Two years later when my brother went to college he got my G3 and I upgraded to a shiny new G4 tower. From there it kept going. A G4 iMac, a G5 iMac, and my current iMac a Core2 Duo machine. I’ve owned every model of iPhone since the first one, and I use my iPad more than my desktop computer. I’ve followed the keynotes, watched the videos, and truly enjoyed using your products, so many of them ground breaking, over the years.

But I think my favorite moment relating to Apple technology happened just this summer. Earlier this spring my nephew was born, the first in a new generation of our family. He and his parents were living in Chicago at the time so it was hard for the whole family to get to see him in person, especially my elderly grandparents, whose health isn’t what it used to be. While visiting them in California this summer, someone, I can’t recall who, remarked that it was too bad we didn’t have a fast enough computer or internet connection (they still only have dial up!) to do a video chat so they could see and interact with their great grandson for the first time in something other than pictures. At that moment it hit me, we DID have a way to do it. I had my iPhone 4, and a healthy 3G connection at their house! We made the arrangements and one afternoon we got Grandma and Grandpa together in the kitchen together, made the call and then I handed them my iPhone. It was, as you would say, a truly magical moment. The joy on their faces as they saw their great grandson in action for the first time, as they talked to him, listened to him make those cute noises babies make, and saw him moving around, it was like the weight of their age lifted off their shoulders for those few minutes.

So for inspiring me to a life of passion about computers I thank you, but my biggest thanks is for helping to enable moments like the ones my grandparents were able to share with my nephew. That story and millions of others like it are the legacy you have left behind. Today we lost a true visionary, your family lost a loved one, and we all mourn for that loss, but we also celebrate the creations you have helped usher in that have changed and enriched our lives. I regret that I never had the opportunity to meet you, but even without that personal connection you have touched my life and so many others. Thank you Steve. Rest in peace.

By David K.

The situation in the North is exactly where we left it a week ago. In the South, there has been some shuffling between the two trios of teams, but the gap between the two divisions looms larger than ever. This week, we get a slate of 5 conference match ups, while Oregon and Cal enjoy a bye week to prepare for a Thursday night matchup on the 6th.

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By David K.

Apologies for the late post, in all the excitement over the latest Confrencegeddon flare up I forgot I hadn’t posted yet. Things have settled down and it looks like I won’t have to start doing Pac-16 rankings anytime soon. On to this weeks soon to be out dated rankings.

NORTH
1. Stanford (3-0, 1-0 Pac-12)
LW 1
Stanford continues pummeling weak opponents, although Arizona put up more of a fight than either of the first two. Andrew Luck continues to pad his stats against weaker teams, something that he’ll get to do for another 3 weeks as the Cardinal take on UCLA, Colorado, and Washington State.

2. Oregon (2-1, 0-0)
LW 2
For a brief period there was some panic in Eugene. Did lowly Missouri State really just score on the might Ducks (pun intended)? How can we be losing to a team like that? Sadly for the Bears it was but a brief glimmer of hope as Oregon quickly asserted itself by scoring the final 56 points of the game unanswered. Running back and Heisman hopeful LaMichael James didn’t go easy on the Bears, posting a 200+ yard rushing game for the fourth time in his career.

3. Washington (2-1, 0-0)
LW 3
For 3 out of 4 quarters Washington was Nebraska’s equal. The 3rd quarter however, everything seemed to fall apart. Perhaps the Huskies were unnerved by a pair of terrible calls by officials, both on punts that helped swing the game back in Nebraska’s favor. Perhaps they were just worn out. Regardless it was a game that got away from the Dawgs. Offense hasn’t been a problem for the Dawgs who posted their 3rd 30+ point performance, but the defense continues to be a concern.

4. Cal (3-0, 0-0)
LW 4
Cal is 3-0, so why aren’t they ranked above Washington? Well the near miss against Colorado last week coupled with what Seattle Time’s Bob Condotta called a glorified scrimmage in this weeks game against Big South cellar dweller Presbyterian doesn’t give a lot of reason to be confident in the Bears. Washington’s performance against Nebraska, despite the loss was more impressive than most expected. Luckily we’ll have a more definitive answer after next weeks matchup between the two north schools in Seattle.

5. Washington State (2-1, 0-0)
LW 5
It felt like old times again this week as WSU Coug’d it in their game against San Diego State. For awhile it looked like they must might pull it off. However a 24-14 lead early in the 4th quarter quickly evaporated as the Aztecs scored an unanswered 28 points to secure a 42-24 victory. Still, the Cougs have the chance to get back on track with games against Colorado and UCLA in coming weeks before hitting the brick wall that is Stanford.

6. Oregon State (0-2, 0-0)
LW 6
The Beavers had a bye this week, which is fortunate since their first two games were embarrassing. Still my money is on Oregon State in this weekends Pac-12 pillow fight against UCLA.

SOUTH
1. USC (3-0, 1-0)
LW 2
The Trojans seemed to have little problems with the visiting Orange wrapping up a favorable home slate before their first road test against the Sun Devils. USC looked much better in this game then the previous two weeks and should have a good shot at a 4-0 start.

2. Utah (2-1, 0-1)
LW 3
Utah’s victory was so one sided that not even the angel Moroni himself could have helped BYU in this one. Utah’s defense took the ball away from the Cougars seven times. Meanwhile Utah’s offense was prolific scoring a shocking 47 unanswered points. If the Utes can continue this type of performance throughout the season they can still contend for the Pac-12 south title.

3. ASU (2-1, 0-0)
LW 1
Arizona State’s sloppy football finally caught up to them in Champaign Illinois. 3 turnovers and nearly 100 yards worth of penalties hurt the Sun Devil’s chances in this game. They will have to clean up their game if they hope to beat the visiting Trojan’s and position themselves strongly for a Pac-12 South title run.

4. Arizona (1-2, 0-1)
LW 4
Another big loss for the Wildcats as they reach the halfway point of a brutal 4 game stretch against ranked opponents. Stanford led the entire way. Arizona is looking at a losing season if it can’t pull a few upsets along the way at this point.

5. Colorado (1-2, 0-0)
LW 6
After a rough first two games the Buffalos finally earned a win against in state rival Colorado State. If they can put in another solid performance there is a real possibility of an upset win over an Ohio State team that struggled against Toledo and lost to Miami in the past two weeks.

6. UCLA (1-2, 0-0)
LW 5
Almost nothing could make this Trojan Husky happier than seeing Slick Rick’s Bruins drop into the bottom spot. A blow out loss at home to Texas in front of few fans can’t be making the hot seat any cooler for Neuheisal. On top of that the Bruin’s benched starting QB Keith Prince after he threw 3 interceptions in the first quarter. Looks like former starter Richard Brehaut will have the ball again for now.

By David K.

A good week for the Pac-12 who went 8-4, with two losses coming from conference foes. Promising starts for all the North teams but OSU, less so for the South. This weekend serves as a breather for a few teams, but a tough challenge for others. Utah, Washington, Washington State all face their toughest opponents so far this season. How will the Pac-12 measure up in Week 3?

NORTH
1. Stanford (2-0, 0-0 Pac-12)
LW 1
Another easy win against an easy opponent. Andrew Luck was impressive, but how will he and the Cardinal fair against an opponent with a pulse?

2. Oregon (1-1, 0-0)
LW 2
Ducks bounced back from their loss to LSU by pounding Nevada. A virtual bye this week playing FCS foe Missouri State.

3. Washington (2-0, 0-0)
LW 5
Huskies secondary was picked apart by Hawaii just as it was by Eastern Washington the week before, but the Husky offense featuring a monster performance by QB Keith Price powered the Dawgs to another close win. Did I mention the Huskies had a defensive 2 point conversion?

4. Cal (2-0, 0-0)
LW 3
A back and forth battle against Pac 12 South basement team Colorado, with Cal squeaking out a win in OT isn’t exactly a confidence booster for the Bears, but its still a 2-0 start.

5. Washington State (2-0, 0-0)
LW 5
Cougars fans are feeling good with a 2-0 start for the first time in years, but WSU’s opponents make Stanford’s look tough. Will they be able to win against a foe that can fight back?

6. Oregon State (0-2, 0-0)
LW 6
After an embarassing close lose to FCS Sacramento State the Beavers just rolled over and played dead for Wisconsin who shut out Oregon State. A home game against struggling UCLA gives them a shot to turn things around.

SOUTH
1. ASU (2-0, 0-0)
LW 2
It wasn’t a pretty win, the two teams contributed for 23 total penalties, but it was a win against a ranked opponent and QB Brock Osweiler had an outstanding performance with 43 completions for over 600 yards and 5 TDs. Still one has to wonder if the Sun Devil’s sloppy play will catch up to them.

2. USC (2-0, 0-0)
LW 1
The Trojans game against the Utes, the first Pac 12 game ever, was closer than he final score indicated, a score that didn’t even become set until two hours after the game. This is still not the dominant USC of the past decade.

3. Utah (1-1, 0-0)
LW 3
Like I said the game was closer than the final score would indicate, the Trojans scoring as the clock expired to extend the lead. The Utes showed they can compete in a Pac-12 game, now can they start winning them?

4. Arizona (1-1, 0-0)
LW 4
Arizona didn’t stand a chance in this game after being shut out 21-0 in the first quarter. Now its home games against the top two Pac-12 teams Stanford and Oregon. Rough way to start the year for the Wildcats.

5. UCLA (1-1, 0-0)
LW 5
An unimpressive win against an unimpressive team. The Spartans of San Jose State were in the game til the end. A mere 43,000 fans made it out to the game. Win or no, Rick Neuheisal is sitting on the hottest seat in the conference right now.

6. Colorado (0-2, 0-0)
LW 6
A near win may be a move in the right direction for the beleaguered Buffalo but its still not an actual win. So far Colorado looks the same in its new home as it did in its old home. When will this former power return to glory? Not this year, thats for sure.

By Tim Stevens

I was planning to have this done by this morning. As you can see, things did not go as planned.

Part of it, most of it I suppose, is that while I have lots of thoughts about September 11, 2001 kicking around my brain, they don’t easily line up into any sort of easy narrative to be placed on the page. I have lots of observations and so very little structure. I was honestly tempted to just scrap the whole thing and just put up a piece about Superman maybe using an abbreviation for taking the Lord’s name in vain. But that felt like a cop out, like letting myself off the hook a bit too easy. No worries though, you’ll still be able to read how I feel about that whole Superman thing later in the week.

In any case, please bear in mind my remarkable lack of cohesion in putting this together and do your best to be kind if it all feels a bit…jumpy.

In reviewing the article I wrote on the 11th and the few days that followed (which was reprinted here on Friday) I was surprised by what I do and do not remember from those days. The details…they slip away. I had forgotten about the heartbreaking makeshift signs proclaiming a solidarity that proved ever so fleeting, even more fleeting than most of America probably realized. The bomb threats, the phone call from my professor…those I had blanked on as well. Hell, I cannot even remember watching the footage live. I know I did, I must have. We were locked down, we had nothing to do but stare glassy eyed at our TV sets or try our useless phones. But I don’t remember any of it.

The feeling of it I can recall instantly. The weird conflict of wanting to just hide running up against the desire to be out there doing something, doing anything, because, well, damn, those were my cities burning on the television.

I do remember that one plane and how such an innocuous sound could be so staggering, so frightening. I remember chasing down rumors about old friends and classmates who might have been at Ground Zero and finding, thankfully, none were real. And I remember talking to my dad and finding that people he knew and worked with were there and feeling profoundly unequipped to say anything about these people I never met, that my dad probably did not know very well, who when nonetheless found ourselves missing.

In DC, September 11 became a season that blanketed the city. In actuality, the Pentagon is across a sizable body of water from DC. For most residents, there was no real threat at all. What came after was when things really began for us. The bomb threats. The anthrax. The anthrax scares. I was evacuated from where I was interning twice for suspicious packages that, thankfully, came to nothing. People interning for Senators and Representatives had to find new office spaces when the packages they received turned out not to be so empty.

My then girlfriend, now wife, had a roommate who only left the room for class and internship and spent the rest of her time relentlessly writing about her day for what she claimed was going to be a book about living in DC during those days. I look back now and realize she was very likely wrestling with what my DSM-IV refers to as Acute Stress Disorder.

And yet…I loved DC. I loved my time at American. I met my wife and now, ten years later, we have a new baby daughter. I met people who I wish I kept in better touch with me because they were great. Fun, smart, energetic…we went to class everyday and internship everyday despite what had happened, what was happening. We walked past men with guns on our way to Starbucks, we attended basement raves near hotels that let people on to the roof to see the smoldering remains of the Pentagon. I wish September 11 never happened, but I can hardly imagine my life without it. And I imagine I am hardly the only one. For good or for ill, for ten years it has been an event that many, maybe most, of us wove tightly into our clothes, our skin, our souls.

So understand when I say this I mean no disrespect. I am so ready to be done with September 11. I think we should continue to honor and mourn the heroes. I think we should build monuments to their bravery and as an affront to the hateful barbarism of that day. But I am ready to put it in the past. I have no desire for this to become my generation’s Vietnam, not in terms of an intractable war but in terms of it being the cloud that hangs over every election for years. We did a lot right after September 11 and we did a lot wrong. I know this and while you may disagree about what falls on the right and wrong sides of the equation, I imagine most of you do too.

But I don’t want to fight those battles ad nauseum. We lost so much that day, I want to be done feeding that wound. We need to stop pretending that we get the difference between people who are Christian and do terrible things and Christians in general but that we cannot seem to make our minds do the same when it comes to Muslims. We need to stop doing things to make ourselves feel safer when they don’t actually make us safer at all. We need to learn the difference between casting off naiveté and embracing suspicious cynicism.

That’s my small prayer, I suppose. Or hope, if the idea of prayer makes you uncomfortable. That we can mourn without holding on. That we can remember without reliving. That we can stop thinking of the day in the context of horror and start remembering it as a day, a time, of heroes. Because “moving on” is not forgetting. Moving on is realizing that we have as much a responsibility to the living that survived as we do to the brave that did not.

When my daughter, two months tomorrow, asks about September 11, as I am sure she will, I will tell her what happened. We will talk about terrorism and loss and ramifications that echoed for years. Because it is important to be honest about these things. But I will also tell her about college hallways filled with classmates comforting one another despite not knowing each other even a month. I will tell her about giving blood. I will tell her about men and women who ran towards fire and ash and broken concrete. I will tell her about people who tried to do something, anything, because, well, damn, those were our cities.

By Tim Stevens

What follows below the jump is the piece I wrote after September 11th for the Connecticut College Voice. I was in DC at the time, studying at American University for the Semester in Washington Program, and sent this story in to the paper via email.

It ran in the September 14th edition of the Voice, as it was/is a weekly paper. I had my notes, but was unable to find my original file of it amongst my digital archives. But thanks to the Voice and current editor-in-chief Jazmine Hughes, I was able to get my hands on a scan of the paper. It appears here almost exactly as it did there, except for minor grammatical changes and the inclusion of a moment involving a military plane that appeared in my notes but for some reason (probably length) did not make the final copy.

My plan is to reprint this today as a visit to the past, and then to write “September 11, ten years on” on Monday as a look to today and, hopefully a future where it is less raw.

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