Thanks to Massachussets Superior Court Judge Jeffrey Locke, the answer to the question that has been perplexing no one has finally been answered: A burrito is NOT a sandwich.
Turns out the Panera Bread Co., a bakery and sandwich chain, had a provision in their lease at the White City Shopping Center in Shrewsbury, MA preventing any other sandwich shop from operating there. Anti-trust issues aside (when, oh when, is the DOJ going to look into this harmful sandwich monopoly?!), a Qdoba Mexican Grill was going to open in the mall and apparently Panera felt that they needed to defend their sandwich monopoly against the burrito insurgency. Viva la burrito!
The judge based his decision on dictionary definitions of a sandwich and testimony from culinary experts, giving us this quote from Cambridge chef Chris Schlesinger, which shouldn’t be as amusing as I find it to be:
“I know of no chef or culinary historian who would call a burrito a sandwich. Indeed, the notion would be absurd to any credible chef or culinary historian.”
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Categories: Misc. Funny Stuff, The Law & The Courts
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November 13th, 2006 at 2:22:34 pm
Heh.
November 13th, 2006 at 2:25:31 pm
Now if that doesn’t take the whole enchilada.
November 13th, 2006 at 2:42:20 pm
If I was the owner of Panera Bread Co., I’d create a new pinto bean & salsa sandwich (with two slices of bread) and call it a burrito just to be a dick. It’d be fun.
10 years ago this would have been an all-time laugher of a waste of jusdical time. Since the low-carb revolution missively poularized the “wrap,” however, there’s now a discernable gray area…
November 13th, 2006 at 2:50:32 pm
Thank goodness this judge has exercised such impressive restraint. However, now that the question has clearly been seen to be justiciable, I contend that we need a constitutional amendment to protect the sanctity of the sandwich from those darned judicial activitists!
It’s just a matter of time before the 9th Circuit finds a burrito to be a sandwich. Next thing you know we’ll be saying an eggroll is a sandwich! Then pitas… and, gasp, can pizza be far behind! I think we can all agree as good Americans that pizza is not a sandwich!
November 13th, 2006 at 3:00:27 pm
Now that’s funny, a sad waste of our judicial system nonetheless, but still funny.
November 13th, 2006 at 3:01:00 pm
What happens if that Mexican Grill starts serving Tortas?
November 13th, 2006 at 3:11:27 pm
You see? You start letting the burritos into the country, they start stealing our sandwiches! When oh when are we going to reform our cultural diffusion laws?
November 13th, 2006 at 3:22:51 pm
heh, yeah Sean i was going to mention the immigration issue, but i was afriad if the post was too long it might go bad
November 13th, 2006 at 4:17:18 pm
Wow, that’s amazing.
I believe that Panera is a favorite of the comp sci “anti DRM types”. This can’t go over well. It surprised me, anyway.
November 13th, 2006 at 4:24:54 pm
Perhaps the best guest post ever! Bravo, David!
November 13th, 2006 at 6:58:02 pm
A co-worker just stated his firm belief that a sandwich is between two pieces of bread…
November 13th, 2006 at 7:42:23 pm
so tired of activist judges interpreting the law according to their culinary preferences.
November 13th, 2006 at 7:55:47 pm
[…] sion released last week. Well, I’m glad we cleared that one up. H/T: Brendan Loy [link] The URI to Tr […]
November 13th, 2006 at 8:47:39 pm
Despite all the blogging about this de minimis case, I have yet to see anyone note the only interesting legal principle that should apply (and one that I hope the judge followed): the canon of construction that an ambiguity in the terms of a contract should be construed against the party that drafted it.
November 13th, 2006 at 9:20:24 pm
Scientizzle - I have been careful to teach my kids that, when it comes to sandwiches, it is much safer to stay away from gray areas … or blue-green fuzzy ones …
November 13th, 2006 at 9:27:27 pm
Bea alerted me to an interesting story somewhat involving sandwiches. Apparently in the Capitol Morning Report up in Sacramento, the “Page 6″ gossip section that discusses the comings and goings of various government/legislative staff mentioned that a John “Quiznos” Doe was leaving his position with such-and-such committee/agency. Why does this man have the nickname “Quiznos”? According to Bea, Mr. Doe has a reputation for being very handsome, and he used to substitute teach at a local high school wherein he earned the nickname “Quiznos” for being the “hot sub”. And it has stuck with him ever since.