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Britney Spears nude — for real this time!
Posted by on Thursday, June 29, 2006 at 8:10 am

Hamdan, Shamdan. The really big news of the day is that Britney Spears posed naked — pregnant and black-haired — for the cover of a magazine!

Who needs serious, important debates about the Geneva Conventions and executive power in wartime when we can look at Britney’s boobies?

Seriously, my mental reaction upon seeing the headline on CNN’s homepage — “Britney Spears poses nude for cover” — was, literally, “HOLY CRAP!”

Fark.com has some more of the pictures, as well as some not-so-flattering commentary. (Personally, I think pregnant women are sexy, so the fat jokes don’t really do anything for me. … Well, okay, the picture of the manatee saying “Look at me! I’m an attention whore!” is pretty funny. But only because it’s Britney, not because she’s pregnant.)

Of course, you know what this means: Britney is officially one step closer to that Playboy shoot that every heterosexual male in this country has been hoping for since the …Baby One More Time video debuted in 1998 (though perhaps the hopes have become less fervent in the last couple of years). I predict it happens roughly 15 months from now, after Plan A (dumping K-Fed), Plan B (another weepy interview, this time with Barbara Walters instead of Matt Lauer), and Plan C (a torrid, well-publicized fling with Fabio) all fail to revive her career.

Incidentally — to tie this all together — I think it’s fair to say that Britney probably disagrees with the Hamdan decision, in light of her past statement that “I think we should just trust our president in every decision he makes and should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens.” Damn you, John Paul Stevens, why don’t you trust our president in every decision he makes?! WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?! ;)

P.S. Speaking of attention whores, Paris Hilton has reportedly dumped Matt Leinart — either because she wants more “me time,” or because she’s got a new guy (or two or three), depending on who you believe. Apropos of which, the modifier “attention” in the segue to this paragraph was probably unnecessary.

P.P.S. If anyone is wondering, the title of this post is a reference to this earlier post.




13 Comments on “Britney Spears nude — for real this time!”

  1. I R A Darth Aggie Says:

    Matt L. should probably get a shot or three. Wouldn’t want ol’ Willy to fall off…

  2. Angrier and Angrier Says:

    Pregnant women aren’t sexy. They may be beautiful, radiant. But they aren’t sexy.

  3. Lojo Says:

    Angrier -

    All depends on how pregnant. Sweet spot is a little chub, but not enough to block access or cause any real problems.

    I must admit, first look at the photo I thought, “She looks pretty good.” Not really from a lecherous standpoint but more of a, ‘I’m surprised she looks that good’.

  4. 4-7 Says:

    well in that truncated window she does look very hot. much of that is due to the marvel of makeup. she looked awful in the lauer interview.

  5. Mad Max, Esquire Says:

    She was a disaster in the Lauer interview. She really looked like trailer trash, mostly because the outfit she had on was ridiculous for a pregnant woman to wear. She should have worn something either less revealing or, if revealing, cut to be much more flattering. Instead she looked like she should have been swigging a bottle of moonshine on the Hee-Haw set. Sad.

  6. Mad Max, Esquire Says:

    Actually, a more appropriate cover for Britney to appear on would be “Bizarre.”

  7. Adrienne Says:

    Wow Brendan, you just don’t follow the right news outlets, all these pictures were up yesterday. My eyes were assaulted on not one but two different celebrity websites (specifically, websites that make fun of celebrities): pictures plus more unflattering commentary here: http://www.wwtdd.com/index.php?type=one&i=1089

    I hear the pictures are a reaction to how crappy she looked in the Matt Lauer interview.

  8. SWLiP Says:

    Brendan:

    That’s a walrus, not a manatee. Manatees don’t have tusks.

    There’s gotta’ be a joke in here, but I haven’t had my morning coffee, yet.

  9. Scientizzle Says:

    The pic of Ursula the Sea Witch next to Brit almost made me soil myself. Damn, Fark threads can be cruel and hilarious…

  10. B. Minich Says:

    Blog sweeps week!

  11. Clem Says:

    She’s southern is why most of the lefty elitist don’t like her. Not counting most of them are fags.

  12. angry n angrier Says:

    hi,
    first of all i did not think she looked sexy…she looked silly and
    really immature…this is from all of us..

  13. billy bob bob Says:

    some of the slowest wits live where “Gone with the wind” was made…sorry Clem


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