Hot lesbian cheerleader Angela Keathley — er, that is to say, hot possibly-lesbian ex-cheerleader Angela Keathley — denies she had sex with fellow hot possibly-lesbian ex-cheerleader Renee Thomas in a Tampa nightclub last weekend, according to the Tampa Tribune.

Angela is the brunette; Renee is the blonde. Angela — speaking through her attorney, Joe Piscopo Episcopo — says she wasn’t moaning, she was crying:

One of two former Carolina Panthers cheerleaders arrested in a Channelside nightclub bathroom said Thursday that she was crying over running into an ex-boyfriend — not having sex with her teammate — when a fracas erupted over the women sharing a stall.

Angela Keathley, 26, of Charlotte, N.C., released the statement through Tampa lawyer Joe Episcopo. “She just wanted to make clear there was no sex,” he said.

At least two women alleged in a Tampa police report that they heard moaning in a Banana Joe’s bathroom stall about 2 a.m. Sunday and thought Keathley and Victoria Renee Thomas, 20, of Pittsboro, N.C., were having sex. Another woman thought Thomas was drunk and ill.

Episcopo offered another version of events: Keathley became “emotional” over meeting her ex-boyfriend in the bar. “The blonde was comforting her,” he said.

Okay… let’s do a little experiment here. Raise your hand if you’ve heard what lesbian sex sounds like. Okay, hands down. Now, raise your hand if you’ve heard what one woman comforting another woman while she’s crying sounds like. Okay, hands down. Now, raise your hand if you think the two things sound remotely like one another. Yeah, that’s what I thought, too.

Anyway, that Angela (through her attorney) is referring to Renee as “the blonde” reminds me of Bill Clinton referring to Monica Lewinsky as “that woman,” and it doesn’t seem like a good sign for the likelihood of their Penthouse photo shoot ever actually happening. Please, ladies, America needs you!!! Do it for our boys in Iraq!!! :)

The Tribune adds this tidbit: “Meanwhile, to capitalize on its sudden notoriety, Banana Joe’s is offering no cover charge on Fridays and Saturdays to patrons who dress as cheerleaders. Actual cheerleaders who are 21 or older can drink free, said Bridgette Collier, director of operations.” Heh.

This story also inspired a Late Show Top Ten list the other night.

(Hat tip: the National Ledger and DeadSpin, which comments: “Clearly Angela continues to fail to understand the world as she now knows it. She says she doesn’t want to lose her nursing job. Honey, we know how much nurses make. We assure you … there’s more money out there for you right now. A lot. So just tell the truth. We can take it. We’re gonna need specifics, however.”)